Andruw Jones Going Through Closet, Smelling Old Braves Uniform

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heal my broken heart, sugar bearSome people have a hard time moving on. For example, Lloyd Dobler, Steve Urkel, Mike Huckabee, the guy trying to collect on my student loans, and Andruw Jones.

The CF signed a two year deal with the Dodgers in the offseason after the Braves wouldn't meet his contract demands and the Atlanta Journal Constitution is all, "Oh my God, he's totally not over us."

In the story, Jones repeats the "it's a business" platitudes ad nauseum and even says, "I'm not going to let my emotions get in the way." Emo! For his part, Andruw's former teammate, and bold prediction maker Chipper Jones isn't buying the Gloria Gaynor schtick:

"He wants to be here," said Chipper, who played golf this winter with Andruw. "He misses it. He knows he's going to miss it. We talked a little bit. He only signed a two-year deal. He knows the restraints we're under monetarily. He knows that in two years he's going to get an opportunity to come back if he so desires and wants to work with Atlanta."

What the shit is that? Is Andruw going to drop every fly ball hit his way when he's playing the Braves? Is he going to strike out every time up? Ok, that one's a bad example but you're picking up what I'm putting down. Perhaps Joe Torre is also in on the ruse and has been yearning to return to Atlanta for the past 24 years. Once he and Jones bring down the Dodgers from the inside they can return to the golden pastures of Peachtree.

Come to think of it, the AJC is right. I never should have left Atlanta those times I visited in college. I'm going to start pining immediately, and once my two year contract to drink High Life at The Silhouette is up I'm going back.


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8 Comments

Shit man, I didn't know you like to get 'houette.

Much like Tom Glavine before him, Andruw will be given a hero's welcome when he returns to Atlanta from his stint in the Braves' "sabotage abroad" program.

I wish I knew how to quit Cox.

He raised some eyebrows reporting to camp at 240 pounds. But he assured new manager Joe Torre he'll lose it as the season progresses.

It seems as though he's already been eating his emotions.

And I'm sure a steady diet of Dodger Dogs is going to help him lose the weight.

Good, cheap drinks, several dartboards, free popcorn and great live music make this a favorite local dive. Open until 1 am. - Alotta, 01/05/2004


Same free popcorn still available. -NotasMuch, 2/28/08.

Lane Meyer spits on Lloyd Dobler.

@Sh!tshow

The drinks are still cheap too.

At least he can turn to Rafael Furcal to comfort him, and warn him where the DUI check points are.

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