Shawn Murphy (not pictured), son of
Hall-of-Fame Hall-of-Very-Good member Dale Murphy, is a 320-pound defensive lineman out of Utah State, and he's currently showing off his skills at the NFL Combine. Dozens of middle-aged white men are busy watching Shawn prance about in his underwear, which is completely not homoerotic at all. Shawn used to play baseball in high school, but gave it up after his junior year to pursue football (and, presumably, Yodels, Ding Dongs, Ho-Hos, Ring Dings and Devil Dogs):
"I remember certain incidents if I struck out I'd hear it from the stands," said (Shawn). "They'd say, 'Oh, they struck out Dale Murphy's son,' but in football if I get beat they're not going to get down on me because being Dale Murphy's son has nothing to do with it, so there is less pressure."
Translation: Shawn tried his hardest at baseball and failed miserably, so he chose to bulk up on corn chips and deep fried Milky Ways and choose a simpler sport that doesn't require hand-eye coordination or an IQ over 60. It's okay, Shawn. We know hittin' baseballs is hard, y'all! But your dad struck out 1748 times in his 18 season career! Wouldn't it be an honor to say "Oh, Dale Murphy's son struck out! He's just like his paw!"
Maybe he did already weigh 320 pounds when he was playing baseball, but only if he was the comically overweight catcher in The Sandlot. That fat kid's hilarious, haw haw.
UPDATE 2/29: (This is merely my satirical spin on an otherwise un-newsworthy item. I don't know Shawn Murphy and I'm sure he is a fine upstanding gentleman with no emotional issues. Now go away.)