Lugo Blames Failures on Parasites, Inability to Wifebeat Them

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Red Sox shortstop Julio Lugo had a real shitty 2007. He was perhaps the worst hitting full-time shortstop in the American League, and stayed in the starting lineup solely because of his speed and glove. He was so bad at the plate, had the Red Sox had one of them replacement players at shortstop, they'd have won 100 games. No matter, everything's coming up Lugo: the Sox got their World Series trophy and Julio got rid of the hookworms living in his intestines.

Yes, Julio Lugo is blaming his awful performance on parasites he picked up on a month-long jaunt through Europe:

"I never got my strength back," Lugo said. "I started training in January and that only made it worse, and when I got to spring training, I wasn't right. "Last year I was sick before I came in. I was weak. I just couldn't get my bat through the zone. This year I feel better. I'm in better condition."

Don't blame Europe, man. Most of Europe isn't full of parasites (except Ireland...have you ever been to Ireland? Sheesh!). Admit it Julio, you like to walk barefoot from the shack to the outhouse when you're in West Virginia. That's where parasites come from.

(Re: the wifebeating thing...yes, I know Lugo was acquitted of the whole spousal abuse thing, but c'mon, how'd she get those lacerations on her face? She slammed her own head into the car hood?)


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9 Comments

Way to piss off the Irish, Rob. I'm not turning the blog on tomorrow morning.

Brett Myers would have shown those parasites who's boss.

Here's hoping the rest of the Red Sox pick up some parasites this season.

/Yankees fan

Wilfredo Cordero would like to point out that he also had a parasite when he beat his wife... er... played for the red sox.

Didn't Jason Giambi have this a couple years ago? He must have got it in one of those Horse Testosterone Cafes in Amersterdam. It's legal there.

$100 he doesn't finish the season over .265...

Giambi picked it up in Japan. Who knows what kind of freaky shit he stepped in over there...

Fuck him. I hope that parasite eats his asshole up.

/Moltisanti

i think Nomar might still be available...

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