Last season, newcomers Ryan Braun, Troy Tulowitzki, and Justin Upton all made noise in their debut seasons with, respectively, winning a Rookie of the Year award, helping his team win a League Championship, and...uh...being the youngest player in the National League. As they enter their sophomore seasons, expect all three to go to shit 'cause they're gonna be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as the SI Cover Curse. Remember Matt Williams on the cover in June '95, a mere three days before breaking his foot? Remember Mo Vaughn on the cover four months later, right before going 0-for-14 in the Indians' three-game sweep? And who can forget the Princess Diana cover in August of 1997?
So please expect wacky stuff to happen to these three gents. Let me put on my speculatin' hat and wager some guesses: Mr. Tulowitzki will shoot himself in the thigh while cleaning his revolver, Mr. Braun will get run over by an out-of-control seven-person bicycle, and Mr. Upton will get drunk at the San Diego Zoo, get lost in the sun bear forest, and get torn to shreds.