Tavern Talking Points #2: Your Team Should Sign Barry Bonds

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With the exception of the Giants, every single weak hitting team in baseball should consider signing Barry Bonds. The idea that Bonds is some sort of pariah above and beyond anyone else tied up in baseball's ongoing steroid mess is insulting to fans' intelligence. This infuriating Ken Rosenthal column claims that "even if Bonds led his new team to a World Series title, many would consider the victory hollow."

Really, Ken? I don't know a single baseball fan that would claim that. Bonds' numbers last year were more than serviceable and would go miles towards protecting any team's best right handed bat, especially as a DH.

If anything, this offseason's Mitchell report shitstorm makes Bonds' transgressions stand out less. That's common sense. Christ look at a team like the Royals who outright talk about the added punch to their lineup once Jose Guillen finishes his suspension for PED use. In a climate where drug suspensions play out like a hamstring pull, I refuse to buy any front office's moral apprehension at signing Bonds. Having him in the league isn't bad for baseball as some fire and brimstone talking out their asses columnists would have you believe, but for any team trying to compete with the AL's most high powered offenses, it's just bad baseball not to sign the best available players.

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As an A's fan, I have been one of the biggest haters on Bonds in the history of the world. You know why? Because the greatest hitter ever doesn't play on my team. "Oh, but he's a jerk and did steroids, that's why you should hate him." Fuck you, Mr. Imaginary Guy I Just Made Up. Everyone does steroids and the media are comprised of a bunch of dickfaces; I'd be a prick to them too if I was a famous ballplayer.
It's easy to hate Bonds when he's on the team across town, but if he was on the A's he would be OUR juicing asshole.
Before Billy Beane decided to be a complete douche-fag and submarine our entire season, there was talk of Bonds coming to Oakland. I was hard the entire time.
To sum up, I agree with all the points in this post.

I never pictured Farthammer as an A's fan. That tells me all I need to know about Mr. Hammer.

But what if my team plays jai alai?

You should move out of Broward County.

and Bonds does a killer Paula Abdul. That's gotta be worth a look from a team.
Straight up.

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