Stupid Liberal Rotator Cuffs...

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DonTownshend1.jpgShort takes from around MLB...

  • Apparently the Red Sox have tried to void Curt Schilling's contract. The 1 year deal, signed this offseason, is due to pay him $8 Million. The doc wants him to get shoulder surgery, the Sox don't want him to. At least I think that's what it is. If I read too much about Schilling my eyes glaze over and my face smashes into my desk.  Anyway, this makes his claims of taking a hometown discount seem a little suspect. I think Grand Old Pudgy wasn't looking forward to a grueling physical from a new team. Anyway, it's just good business sense by the Sox. Look how Warner Bros. got stuck holding the bag when Heath Ledger wouldn't have medicine cabinet removal during the filming of The Dark Knight.

  • Derek Jeter settled an IRS inquiry into a bunch of back income tax he owed the State Of New York. Since Florida has no state income tax he was trying to claim his home in Tampa as his primary residence... even though every gap-boxed R&B singer and cashmere turtleneck delivery man in the tri-state area knows he's living mostly in Manhattan since '01. It will probably just be a wash for the IRS once they pay the Steinbrenner family back all the income tax they'd been taking from George while he claimed to be living for the past 6 years.
  • Good news and UghWhateverWe'reTheOrioles news for Baltimore. The good news: Lots of people saying they got good value from Seattle for Bedard. CF Adam Jones has more tools than a Prep School. The Ugh news: Daniel Cabrera got a $2.9 million extension. The guy has a career 1.55 WHIP, so the extension works out to about $75 a baserunner. But I guess he throws hard, and there's always a premium for righties with ERAs over five and a half.
  • Clemens went in front of Congress and at this point I couldn't give less of a fuck about anyone on either side of the microphone (except Obama... SQUEEEEEE!) I used to like Roger and I used to like some politicians. Then I turned 16 and everything went to hell. You wont hear another word from me about Clemens for the rest of the year unless he kidnaps a beauty queen or puts out a groundbreaking indie record or something.
  • Don Mattingly is having trouble with his crazy ass wife, Mr. Perfect. The tumult made him leave his hitting instructor gig with the Dodgers. The job went to Mike Easler. The Hit Man was a an underrated slugger in his day, but my spies tell me he got the job for his agility in avoiding snapping tendons and a willingness to play bocce at hour all hours of the night.

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Obamamania is a cult. I'll be voting for Wellkie!

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