What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Are Hurt Already

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stretcher.JPGSo we're only a week or so into Spring Training, and only a couple days into live game action, and already some guys are on shelves of varying lengthitudeness. Injury reports are popping up all over the wire, and I'm here to pass on some names and ailments. If you're one for depth and stuff, the esteemed Will Carroll over at Baseball Prospectus has done a similar list, but with numbers and money and acronyms and such. He's much smarter than I am.

Anyway, here's a look at some wimps:

Brad Lidge, Phillies: The centerpiece to Philadelphia's offseason suffered a meniscal tear and just underwent successful surgery. Knee injuries can be a bitch (I'm going through one right now) but since we're talking about Lidge the Phils should be happy it's a physical ailment. Wink Wink.
If you're a girl.

Jake Westbrook, Indians: According to MLB.com Westbrook is "generally sore". When he was healthy for the first half of last season he generally sucked. Good thing he's locked up through 2010.

Scott Kazmir, Rays: Eek. Rays observers seem highly optimistic this season, and alot of that rests on 1-2 rotation punch of Kazmir and James Shields. Team brass says he'll be ready for opening day, but it's worth keeping an eye on. Plenty of good seats still available.

Mark DeRosa, Cubs: DeRosa has had a heart arrhythmia since he was a teenager, so I feel bad for calling him a wimp, but I don't feel like scrolling back up to change it. He just had a "procedure" to fix it, and all signs are that it was a success. That's good news as you'd hate to see him follow in the footsteps of fellow Chicagoan, Todd O'Connor

Omar Vizquel, Giants: Same injury as Brad Lidge, Vizquel is out 4-6 weeks. And thus the vaunted Giants offense comes crashing down.

Tom Gorzelanny, Pirates: Headline of the year: Aching Gorzelanny Scratched As Precaution. DONT SCRATCH IT YOU'LL JUST MAKE IT WORSE!

Garret Anderson, Angels: Raped by a wallaby.

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12 Comments

One of the Alex Gonzalezesezes just borkened his knee too.

I AM SO HELPFUL

Each day that OCaptainMikeHampton is not on this list is a good day.

wait....DeRosa's "procedure" made him Jake Westbrook? Noooooooooooo!
oh wait....the link is messed up?....oh thank God!....Cubs cant afforded another shitty pitcher...hell! seems the Cubs cant even afford to keep the Wrigley name...UGH!!!

You know, 85% of wallaby-based sexual assaults are committed against people the wallaby knows.

@ Grunter

Fixed. Thanks.

Anyway, here's a look at some wimps:

Good one, Caney.

Pujols can tear a meniscus with mind.

but I can't type a coherent sentence with mine.

This just in, Mark DeRosa has "procedure," and is now Rosa DeMark.

no link for the wallaby raping?

Broseph, you fahckin forgot about the sand in A-Rod's vagina, guy.

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