March 2008 Archives

Sorry, fans of the Pirates, Astros, Nationals, and Braves. We just ran out of space on our blog today to post your lineups. Actually, I retract the apology to the Braves and Nats; y'all played last night! Click here if you want to see all the lineup posts that CTC posted today. He did yeoman's work while I was sitting in the rain. One last lineup, via the box score on MLB.com. I give you the Angels of California:

3B - Chone Figgins
DH - Gary Matthews
RF - Vladimir Guerrero
LF - Garret Anderson
CF - Torii Hunter
1B - Casey Kotchman
2B - Howie Kendrick
C - Mike Napoli
SS - Cesar Izturis

The Angels have enough outfielders in that lineup to fill...well...two outfields. Why did they sign Torii Hunter one year after throwing $50 million at Gary Matthews? I'm perplexed. Jered Weaver gets the nod at starting pitcher because of the injury to John Lackey; I like Weaver...he's good enough to be a #1 guy anyway.

I stole the Dodgers lineup from MLB.com so I won't even bother mentioning the mouthpiece who wrote it.

Rafael Furcal - SS
Andre Ethier - LF
Matt Kemp - RF
Jeff Kent - 2B
Andruw Jones - CF
Russell Martin - C
James Loney - 1B
Blake DeWitt - 3B
Brad Penny - P

I don't know who Blake DeWitt is but I'm sure Torre would rather be penciling Nomar Garciaparra or Andy La Roche in that slot. In better news for Dodgers fans: Juan Pierre is not in your Opening Day lineup. Andre Ethier won the left field job. Good job, Joe! You made the right decision! We miss you!

Okay, it's not Nolan Ryan, but instead old codger T.R. Sullivan who presents the Texas Rangers Opening Day lineup:

2B Ian Kinsler
SS Michael Young
CF Josh Hamilton
3B Hank Blalock
DH Milton Bradley
LF David Murphy
RF Marlon Byrd
C Gerald Laird
1B Ben Broussard

SP Kevin Millwood

Milton Bradley is crazy enough to make some noise in the heart of that lineup with Josh Hamilton and Hank Blalock...they'll either be hitting home runs or striking out a ton. Today? I'm going to guess striking out a ton, as they face new Seattle Mariners ace Erik Bedard.

Oh this game is underway already? Good for them.

Twins blogger Kelsie Smith of the Pioneer Press provides us with Minnesota's Opening Day lineup. Hey, is Kelsie a lady's name or a man's name?

1. Carlos Gomez, CF
2. Joe Mauer, C
3. Michael Cuddyer, RF
4. Justin Morneau, 1B
5. Delmon Young, LF
6. Craig Monroe, DH
7. Mike Lamb, 3B
8. Brendan Harris, 2B
9. Adam Everett, SS

Livan Hernandez, SP

I have nothing to add to this lineup, except quotes from Fargo:

"Oh for Pete's sake, he's fleeing the interview! He's fleeing the interview!"

"You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related."

I just got back from the Yankees Opening Day festivities that were rained out and boy, are my arms tired. Looks like it's raining everywhere across the country, which is God's way of telling us not to play baseball until April. It's even raining in St. Louis, says Denver Post blogger Troy Renck. Troy, what about the Rockies' lineup against the Cardinals?

1. CF Willy Taveras
2. SS Troy Tulowitzki
3. 1B Todd Helton
4. LF Matt Holliday
5. 3B Garrett Atkins
6. RF Brad Hawpe
7. C Yorvit Torrealba
8. 2B Jayson Nix
9. LHP Jeff Francis

Hey, that's quite a spread. Here's hoping the rain lets up so you kids can have yourselves a game. Unlike the Yankees, who are forcing me to drag my sorry ass back to the Bronx tomorrow night.

As shrill and masochistic commenter Grunter pointed out... we forgot the Cubs lineup! I guess that picture of Dusty in a Cubbie uniform really did mess me up. Anyway they're in the 4th against Milwaukee... but the game is deeeeeeeeeeeelayed.

R Theriot SS
A Soriano LF
D Lee 1B
A Ramirez 3B
K Fukudome RF
M DeRosa 2B
G Soto C
F Pie CF
C Zambrano P

I don't give a shit about Grunter, but I just hope John Cusack isn't mad at me. He's dreamy.

At 4:10, the Mets and Marlins will go get em some of that sweet sexy Opening Day action. Johan Santana makes his Mets debut, but I think the real story here is the start of the Marlins quest to be the first baseball team to go 162-0.

New York:

J. Reyes ss
L. Castillo 2b
D. Wright 3b
C. Beltran cf
C. Delgado 1b
A. Pagan lf
R. Church rf
B. Schneider c
J. Santana p

Florida:

H. Ramirez ss
D. Uggla 2b
M. Jacobs 1b
J. Willingham lf
C. Ross cf
J. Cantu 3b
L. Gonzalez rf
M. Treanor c
M. Hendrickson p

I wish I was there, watching the game and eating an Arepa. Why the hell didn't we get Darren to write these Opening Day posts. What do we pay him for anyway? Oh wait, we don't.

Continued updates from Country Joe West: Conine threw out the first pitch... Mets lineup got louder reception... Billy the Marlin is a douche, and Marlins fans are less threatening than Jesus...Johan threw 8 pitches including a K... Uggla still hits like Rob Deer...

A couple of things. First off, stuff we did just a couple hours ago is getting pushed off the front page. Click the "archives" or "monthly archive" buttons or click the "lineups" tag to find it, if you just got here. This is still your prediction thread.

Secondly, reader Country Joe West, sends in the following dispatch via text from Dolphins stadium for the Mets/Marlins game:

"Drinking w/ Jersey transplant Met fans... everything reeks of churros... 'Don't Stop Til You Get Enough' is playing on PA"

That sounds approximately 25,000x better than any of the dispatches I've gotten from northern stadiums thus far today. Northern stadiums like newly monikered Progressive Field where the Indians are hosting the White Sox. The lineups:

Chicago

N Swisher LF
O Cabrera SS
J Thome DH
P Konerko 1B
J Dye RF
A Ramirez CF
A Pierzynski C
J Crede 3B
J Uribe 2B

Cleveland:

G Sizemore CF
J Michaels LF
T Hafner DH
V Martinez C
J Peralta SS
R Garko 1B
A Cabrera 2B
F Gutierrez RF
C Blake 3B

Buerlhe takes on Sabathia in one of the best pitching matchups of the day, and Ozzie Guillen starts the season on a piping hot bench. I'd watch this one if I wasn't in the office pretending to work.

The Orioles/Rays are due to kick off in about 15 minutes, although, Surprise! The weather is shitty. The team kind of is too.

Brian Roberts - 2B
Melvin Mora - 3B
Nick Markakis - RF
Kevin Millar - 1B
Aubrey Huff - DH
Ramon Hernandez - C
Luke Scott - LF
Adam Jones - CF
Luis Hernandez - SS

It's Jeremy Guthrie on the hill against James Shields. I like Guthrie. I like Lowen. I like Adam Jones. Otherwise, I just feel for you, O's fans.

There is a theme today. It's raining in Cincinnati. Start of the game is delayed until it lets up. When it does, here's the D'Backs lineup:

C. Young cf
O. Hudson 2b
E. Byrnes lf
C. Jackson 1b
C. Snyder c
M. Reynolds 3b
S. Drew ss
J. Upton rf
B. Webb p

Man, where is Rick Dempsey today? I used to love his slippin and slidin rain delay antics. No one does that anymore. AND there's not even any good YouTube of it. Just those moron fans from the Braves game that did it themselves. That shit was kind of weak. Someone find me good rain delay blooper videos. Kthxbai.

Phillies beat writer Todd Zolecki has the Phillies lineup posted. It goes a little something like this. Counting off with drumsticks... 1-2-3-4!

1. Jimmy Rollins, SS
2. Shane Victorino, CF
3. Chase Utley, 2B
4. Ryan Howard, 1B
5. Pat Burrell, LF
6. Pedro Feliz, 3B
7. Jayson Werth, RF
8. Carlos Ruiz, C
9. Brett Myers, P

1-4 is one of the best in the majors. Hands down. It's the rest of the team that could pose problems. That and the spelling of Jayson Werth's name. It's annoying. When this game starts, DMac over at Philly Will Do will have the liveblog for it.

In other news, Rob just sent a text saying it's so cold at Yankee Stadium that he went to a urinal and couldn't find his dick and the crowd is extremely agitated.Also they announced "After speaking to weather authorities, the forecast is not as promising as we thought. We are evaluating our options."

This roughly translates to: "Buy beer and food for a couple more hours, then we'll cancel the game."

UPDATE: Game postponed until tomorrow evening. Iracane to spend rest of evening drying out his perm.

My buddy John Fay of the Cincinnati Enquirer gives us Dusty Baker's Opening Day lineup for his new team, the Cincinnati Reds:

Corey Patterson CF
Jeff Keppinger SS
Ken Griffey Jr. RF
Brandon Phillips 2B
Adam Dunn LF
Edwin Encarnacion 3B
Scott Hatteberg 1B
Javier Valentin C
Aaron Harang P

Okay, so I have to give Dusty credit for including young talent like Keppinger, Phillips, and Encarnacion, but really, did he have a choice? No. He had a choice in center field and he chose the washed-up Patterson to lead off. Yes, Corey had a .316 OBP last season. This is a sham; Marge Schott is spinning in her grave right now.

Over the weekend, Jay Gibbons and Jose Guillen were both cleared to play for now, until their 15 game drug suspensions have been reviewed. Guillen is in there at cleanup. The entire Royals lineup goes:

D. DeJesus CF
M. Grudzielanek 2B
A. Gordon 3B
J. Guillen RF
B. Butler DH
M. Teahen LF
R. Gload 1B
J. Buck C
T. Pena Jr. SS

Detroit counters with:

E. Renteria SS
P. Polanco 2B
G. Sheffield DH
M. Ordonez RF
M. Cabrera 3B
C. Guillen 1B
I. Rodriguez C
J. Jones LF
B. Inge CF

On the hill, it's Meche vs. Verlander. Consider this thread open for all you Royals nuts out there. I'm eager to see these Tigers hit, though their bullpen trouble has me considerably cooled on their overall chances.

The Yankees are about to open up the final season at Yankee Stadium against the Tampa Rays. Mark Feinsand at the Daily News has the lineup, and is about to begin a liveblog. Use it to augment your gamecast for riveting flash action!

Wait, what's that? Rain delay, and according to a text message from Iracane they are playing all kinds of songs about rain at the stadium. Including "Umbrella" by Rhianna. Hopefully they've got the video on the Jumbotron too. She is hot like fire. Anyway, the Yankees lineup:

Johnny Damon, LF
Derek Jeter, SS
Bobby Abreu, RF
Alex Rodriguez, 3B
Jason Giambi, 1B
Robinson Cano, 2B
Jorge Posada, C
Hideki Matsui, DH
Melky Cabrera, CF

That's a lot of bat. Especially when you think that they scored nearly 1000 last year and Abreu is do for a bounceback year. Enjoy the game, when it starts.

Tom Haudricourt of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel provides us with the Brewers Opening Day lineup:

2B Rickie Weeks
CF Tony Gwynn Jr.
1B Prince Fielder
LF Ryan Braun
3B Bill Hall
RF Corey Hart
SS J.J. Hardy
RHP Ben Sheets
C Jason Kendall

Tony Gwynn Jr. is young and has a famous name but he's not very good. Mike Cameron is actually the Brewers everyday center fielder but he's suspended to start the season because of his stimulant-related oopsie. Mike, you're a great defensive center fielder and we know you had that little collision problem, but just stick to Red Bull like the Red Sox did in Japan for all your stimulating needs.

Seattle Times columnist, and huge homer, Geoff Baker has the Mariners lineup for their 6:40 tilt against the Rangers.

CF Ichiro
2B Jose Lopez
LF Raul Ibanez
1B Richie Sexson
3B Adrian Beltre
RF Brad Wilkerson
DH Jose Vidro
C Kenji Johjima
SS Yuniesky Betancourt

Meh. Underwhelming. I understand the Angels have had some injuries, but are Bedard, Hernandez and Putz really good enough to make this team the favorite?

Tim Salmon > salmon.

Thanks to Derrick Goold of the St Louis Post Dispatch for providing the Opening Day lineup for the St Louis Cardinals:

Skip Schumaker, LF
Ryan Ludwick, RF
Albert Pujols, 1B
Troy Glaus, 3B
Rick Ankiel, CF
Yadier Molina, C
Cesar Izturis, SS
Adam Wainwright, RHP
Aaron Miles, 2B

Yes, that is Aaron Miles batting ninth, which implements La Russa's strategy of having "two" leadoff batters in the lineup. Moving the pitcher up to the eighth position will provide more protection for leadoff batter and rookie sensation Skip Schumaker, who had a great spring.

The hosers at MLB.com give us the Padres' Opening Day lineup:

Brian Giles - RF
Tad Iguchi - 2B
Kevin Kouzmanoff - 3B
Adrian Gonzalez - 1B
Scott Hairston - CF
Khalil Greene - SS
Josh Bard - C
Paul McAnulty - LF
Jake Peavy - P

Hairston will be the regular left fielder once Jim Edmonds gets healthy, but perhaps this Paul McAnulty kid will make a splash. Iguichi, Kouzmanoff and Gonzalez is an excellent name for a law firm.

So as you can probably tell, we're trying to report on every opening day lineup we can get our hands on. I also have a couple of moles at different games across the country today. I'll be relaying their impressions to you. Stick with WoW for all* of your Opening Day needs! In case it gets pushed off the page, here's the post where you post your various and sundry predictions

Also, President Bush will not be joining me in the booth later today.
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*some

Mark Topkin sends along the Rays lineup:

Akinori Iwamura, 2b
Carl Crawford, lf
Carlos Pena, 1b
B.J. Upton, cf
Cliff Floyd, dh
Willy Aybar, 3b
Eric Hinske, rf
Dioner Navarro, c
Jason Bartlett, ss

It's an Eric Hinske sighting! Hinske gets the start for his 3rd AL East squad. The lineup is pretty impressive, even if I still don't believe the hype. But hey, Carlos Pena at the 3 spot? That's a mighty big job for the Comeback Player Of The Year.

John Shea of the San Francisco Chronicle gives us a peek at the Giants' Opening Day lineup: Dave Roberts - LF
Rich Aurilia - 1B
Randy Winn - RF
Bengie Molina - C
Ray Durham - 2B
Aaron Rowand - CF
Jose Castillo - 3B
Brian Bocock - SS
Barry Zito - P

So the Giants have gone from the greatest hitter of our generation frightening pitchers in the third or fourth slot of the lineup for years to....Bengie Molina batting cleanup. This is a shame, but hey! They've got Bocock!

Blue Jays reporter and psychedelic wordsmith, Cathal Kelly links us up to the Toronto lineup for their game against the Yankees at 1:05:

1 - David Eckstein
2 - Matt Stairs
3 - Alex Rios
4 - Vernon Wells
5 - Frank Thomas
6 - Lyle Overbay
7 - Aaron Hill
8 - Marco Scutaro
9 - Gregg Zaun

Look at all that grit! I hope border agents don't hold them up when they see Vernon Wells passport says he's 29. If they're Blue Jays fans they'll think it's forged since last year he looked 40.

The real live baseball season is finally upon us because today is OPENING DAY! Today is the day we can pretend that those Red Sox - A's games in Japan never happened. Today is the day we can pretend that Ryan Zimmerman didn't really hit a walkoff home run last night to lead the Washington Nationals over the Atlanta Braves in the inaugural game at Nationals Park. Today is the day we can pretend that Pres-o-dent Bush didn't get heartily and lustily booed before, during, and after throwing out the inaugural pitch. Today is the day we can pretend all those preseason games didn't happen, especially when everybody leaves way before the seventh inning stretch. Yeah, we can even pretend that all the loud obnoxious blathering idiots surrounding our national pastime never really existed.

Why do we let ourselves live in such a world of make-believe? Because on Opening Day, every team and every player and every stadium urinal start out fresh. Anything can happen, even in the urinals. Every team's fans have hope today, well, except the Orioles fans. Sorry.

I'm lucky enough to be going to see the Yankees and the Blue Jays kick off the AL East season today; all the stars will be there: Lyle Overbay! Marco Scutaro! Buck Coats! My associate Camp Tiger Claw (who did an amazing job on Friday by the by) will take you through the rest of the day. I leave you with my 2008 season predictions:

• Sleeper team (AL): Watch out for the Royals. Really.
• Sleeper team (NL): The Cardinals will surprise you. Ferreals.
• World Series loser: Those Diamondbacks are all growed up now.
• World Series winner: The Yankees, because I am a total homer.
• Most disappointing: The Mets won't win 90 games, regardless of what I said earlier. Mark it down.

Dear commenters, what are your team-related predictions?

ESPN played repeats of this show in the late 80s and early 90s. It was one of my very favorites when I was a kid, and just recently I found the DVDs and got them for my dad. Exceptional stuff. Here it's The Say Hey Kid against The Mick with host Mark Scott. I always loved the interactions between Scott and the players.

Part One


Part Two


Have a good weekend, everybody. I'll be back with you on Monday, but Rob is going to be at Yankee Stadium for opening day. His boys take on Toronto for the opener at 1:05.

Get some rest. When you wake up Monday morning baseball will be here.

Cubs owner Sam Zell is in talks to sell the Cubs to a state run agency, the Illinois Sports Facilities Authority. One of the most interesting parts of the proposal is that if the deal gets done, the ISFA says Wrigley needs extensive renovations to keep the Cubs, possibly displacing the Cubs for a season, like their crosstown ursine compadres were. In fact they'd probably play the games at US Cellular Field, home of the White Sox. While some may think of this distraction as bad for the team, coumnist Steve Rosenbloom thinks it's the Cubs best shot at a title.

Because I'll tell you what, if the Cubs play mostly night games on the South Side, that will be the reason they win the World Series that season. Baseball players are used to night games and it takes even smart players a long time to adjust to Wrigley's alarm clock. But if you give a good Cubs team a schedule that baseball's body clocks are used to, they'd have to be a favorite, especially in a season like this, where the NL East and West are strong and the Central is weak.

So, think about that: Cubs fans would celebrate the end of the longest championship drought in sports history in the park of their dreaded city rival instead of their outdoor beer garden, so how happy would they actually be? Talk about the ultimate example of being so Cub. And Sox fans will say that the only reason the Cubs won was because they played in a real baseball stadium, but really, how much solace could a South Sider get in knowing that the franchise that sells sunshine will hoist the most recent World Series banner?

Totally, dude. But why wait till then? I have a perfect idea. Instead of wasting time in huge 8 hour chunks, The Cubs should just sleep for 20 minutes of every hour! They'd be like supermen with all they could accomplish.

Welcome to the final Spring Training Creampuff. If these fragile porcelain mice don't heal up their owwies before the end of the weekend they'll be missing some honest to goodness gametime. So say your prayers and eat your vitamins, you Marys. It's time to go out and work for a living.

Scott Rolen, Blue Jays: After taking a ball off his finger a couple weeks ago, Dr. Self-Destructo intitially looked like he'd be out ten days or so. That's been debunked and now Rolen could be looking at 4-6 weeks on the shelf.

JD Drew, Red Sox: Drew experienced some tightness in his back in Japan. Last season Drew managed to avoid most of the health problems that have plagued him, but word on the street is that his and Josh Beckett's back pain are sexually transmitted. Wrap it up, guys. Drew hopes to be back for Tuesday's game against Oakland.

Jerry Owens, White Sox: Ok... start snapping your fingers with a little swing to it. Then sing it with me like you're an upbeat backup soul singer... "Jerry Owens has a tear in his groin!" It's a painful thing but for some reason the syntax of that sentence makes it kind of funky. He's starting the season on the DL, and if Joe Crede contiues to be an injury magnet after the demotion of Josh Fields... well let's just say things could go south for Ozzie real fast.

Jeremy Hermida, Marlins: Don't try and sing "Hermida pulled a hamstring." It will just make out sound like you're in They Might Be Giants. The move is retroactive so he will miss only a handful of games.

Kelvim Escobar, Angels: In really bad news, Escobar looks to miss the entire season with a labrum tear. You have to hope that's the worst of it. Labrum tears can end careers and Escobar's just now peaking.

Kris Benson, Phillies: Tendinitis in his right bicep has hampered his return from shoulder surgery. He's in the minors where experts say he will soon break his fingers, sprain his wrist, strain his forearm and blowout his elbow.

In today's Wall Street Journal, Darren Everson tackles the eternal question, "Is Joe Torre worth the money?" When it comes down to brass tacks, $13 million over 3 years is a bit much for any manager, especially one with a such a dubious rep among baseball's ever increasing brotherhood of statheads. But I'd bet a lot of the lunkheads reading their WSJ over a steaming hot cup of homeowner blood are "results guys" and need these numbers broken down for them.

In close games, in which a manager's decisions in baserunning, pitching and substitutions tend to make the most difference, Mr. Torre's teams have struggled in recent years. Over the past three seasons, his record in games tied after the sixth inning is 23-31 -- a .426 winning percentage, compared with .588 in all games. Several of his peers, including Ron Gardenhire of the Minnesota Twins and Willie Randolph of the New York Mets, have performed better in close games.

There's also some evidence that Mr. Torre negatively impacts the performance of his players. Last fall, David Gassko, a former major-league consultant and a contributor to the Hardball Times Web site, did a study of major-league managers through 2006, determining how many additional games a manager won or lost for his team per season. Of the 422 managers he studied, Mr. Torre's score was the sixth-worst.

Everson hedges some of his bets (I believe the financial term for this is 'hedging your bets) by pulling out the intangibles card (I beieve the financial term for this is 'bullshit'), and in the process completely disgusts me by inserting the following quote into an article about Joe Torre.

"There's something in jelly that makes it jelly," says Mr. (Bill) James, senior baseball-operations adviser with the Boston Red Sox. "Without that, it's runny grape juice with a lot of sugar in it. That's what the manager is. He's not the thing you taste, not the thing you're really trying to get to; he's the thing that holds it together."

You're goddamned right Joe Torre isn't the thing I taste. If you need me I'll be pouring bleach in my ear trying to erase that quote from my memory.

Do I think he's worth the money? The simple answer is no, if want the most wins for your money. But in a town like LA where a big name goes a long away, I think the answer is, 'meh... maybe.'

Sometimes people write better than us. Each Tuesday and Thursday WoW gives you our favorite baseball links we've come across.

• Who were the best players with sub-Mendoza career averages? The Baseball Analysts


• Charlie Manuel's encounter with a whirlpool full of nude Geishas. The 700 Level


• A look back at Sam Mellinger's spring with the Royals. Ball Star


• Fastest pitchers to 100 wins often struggle down the road. Joe Posnanski

That's it for today, kiddos. We'll be back tomorrow with all your Funny Friday Favorites. Enjoy the basketballs this evening.

Usually I'm loathe to write about anything I find on MLB.com. The whole thing is just a press release clearing house. I'm not even sure why they run the stories with a byline. Of course this cynicism is something I've honed over the years, it isn't really inborn. As such, it makes sense that I'm lifting my embargo to write about an article on Saturday being... FREE BASEBALL CARD DAY! KICKASS!

To celebrate, fans can sign in at mlb.com/cards and receive a free pack of baseball cards. Each pack will contain five base cards from Topps, five base cards from Upper Deck, one chase card from Topps, one chase card from Upper Deck, and one informational card.

Participating hobby stores will also hand out free packs on National Baseball Card Day, as will stadiums that are hosting some of the final exhibition games before the regular season gets under way.

I don't collect baseball cards anymore but you can be sure if I'm out and about on Saturday I'm picking up my free pack, Duder. The photo caption says something about Pat Neshek being a card collector or something which makes sense because he seems like a dork.

So you got me and Pat Neshek going to pick up our free cards this weekend. Anyone else? Oh yeah, Dusty Baker! According to Iracane's boyfriend, John Fay of the Cincinnati Enquirer, Baker keeps a handle on his pitching staff by reading the back of their baseball cards.

When Reds manager Dusty Baker was asked before Tuesday's game how much weight he gives to a pitcher's "most recent outing" when it comes to making the team, he turned the question on its head and talked about the hitters.

"(Looking at) 'most recent outing' would make you a frontrunner," Baker said. "And I ain't no frontrunner. I don't look at 'most recent outing.' If that that was the case, half the guys wouldn't (make) the team. If that was the case, (Edwin) Encarnacion wouldn't even be on the team.

"I look at the baseball card; I look at what I think he might do; I know what he is doing. It's a combination of things."

Between starts, Dusty likes his players to do the workout from the Grape Nuts package and eat meals entirely composed of little Ritz cracker sandwiches from the back of the box.

So yesterday I laid out some vague ground rules for what I thought a newspaper blog should and should not be. Before those really sink in, let me make one huge exception. The Blue Jays Blog from the Toronto Star. Lord fuck a duck, I love these guys. You may remember last week, I shared their Fear And Loathingesque chronicles of Alex Rios' RC helicopter. Well my friends, that was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to their radditude. To wit, their twisty turns of phrase led some people to believe that a prominent member of the Canadian Press had died, when he had not.

"Shi Davidi is not dead. If the emails and comments are anything to go by, I may have given people the wrong impression when I noted recently that CP's estimable baseball beat writer is 'no longer with us'. I meant that in the literal sense, as in 'not in Florida'. Not as in 'has shuffled off this mortal coil'.

Shi himself messaged me. I'm sure his family was getting worried. I told him that my (virtual) powers are limitless and that the Star's travel budget does include a provision for witch doctors and raisings from the dead, not to be confused with the water cure.

So Shi is alive and well, though still labouring under the misapprehension (along with MLB.com's Jordan Bastian and the FAN590's Mike Wilner) that a constant Tampa diet of P.F. Chang's will not eventually kill him. They continue to insist to me that a nightly partaking of disstilled spirits will do likewise. We agree to disagree."

That's from Cathal Kelly. He is but one head of the four headed literary beast that is following this middle of the road Toronto squad. For your viewing pleasure, all four heads are prominently displayed along the right margin of their page, and accompanying this post. RAWR. I've had some fun making my own captions, but how could I even top the one that actually accompanies Mark Zwolinski?

"A Toronto native, he's also a big fan of drag racing and muscle cars, but that's another story."

I fucking bet it is. I want that rogue, Cathal Kelly, to recount it to me.

But ferreals, these guys have 58 years of combined experience writing about the Blue Jays and a style that veers toward the surreal. In a recent mail bag, Richard Griffin said that AJ Burnett, "seems to be trying to fit in more as a regular human being." I cannot recommend them highly enough.

Welp, we received a total of thirty-one entries in the First Annual Prophecy of Mediocrity contest; adding in our two sets of picks brings the sum to 33 contestants for this challenge. Yes, we are having a contest to predict the six teams that will finish in third place, because winning a division is boring.

Are you interested in entering? Tough shit, it's too late. If you DID enter and forgot to submit a tiebreaker, it's not too late for that. Just email Darren. Speaking of which, our intern Darren tabulated the results, created a spreadsheet, and ran the numbers so let's see who picked whom:

• The most popular teams were the Blue Jays (23 votes), Rangers (21), White Sox (18), Braves (18), Phillies (14), Rockies (14), and Reds (13). Of these teams, I'd be least surprised to see the Braves break the mold and finish higher than third.
  
  
• The least popular teams were the Yankees, Orioles, Indians, Angels, Mets, and Nationals, all receiving zero votes, probably because these teams are expected to finish either first or last. Of these teams, I would be least surprised to see the Mets finish third.
  
  
• One dummy picked the Red Sox (me) and one awesome entrant picked the Giants (someone whose strategy was picking all of last year's last place teams).
  
  
• The most wide open division in baseball according to our readers is the NL Central. The votes went thusly: Reds (13), Brewers (5), Astros (5), Cardinals (5), Cubs (3), and Pirates (2). My vote was for the Pirates, but I am now more inclined to see the Cards shock and awe with a third-place finish.
  
  
• The least wide open division is the AL East. Votes: Blue Jays (23), Rays (9), Red Sox (1), Yankees (0), Orioles (0).
  
  
• The only two entrants who submitted the same six teams were Matt_T and GHABB,Y; no surprise that Braves fan Matt_T chose the Phillies. They have different tiebreakers
  
  
• The average tiebreaker guess (average number of wins for all third place teams) was 72.75, only because three people didn't submit a guess and I marked them down for zero. Removing these lollygaggers gives us 80.03. Most people picked 82, because it is a nice round number.

Well, that's it for now. We'll revisit this again at midseason and see who is in the lead, aka the person most likely to win a Walkoff Walk t-shirt.

Hey Orioles fans! Yeah, all one of you. I have good news! Looks like Andy MacPhail isn't going to trade Brian Roberts after all. Instead of losing 100 games, the Orioles will now only lose 95! Congratulations, Peter Angelos. This is the second greatest accomplishment of your career, right after all those enormous mesothelioma settlements.

The Cubs had been interested and offered a nice package of prospects. Chicago could desperately use a real leadoff-type guy and Roberts fits that mold. They just signed Blue Jay detritus Reed Johnson but if they pencil him and his .300 OBP in the #1 slot, I will personally punch Lou Piniella in the throat. I have a blog so I am an expert: the Cubs should bat Kosuke Fukudome leadoff. He's fast, he has a good eye, he walks a ton, and he can hit. Well, he could do all those things in Japan. Nobody knows how that will translate, just like nobody knows how to translate "dirty water vienna beef hot dog with neon green relish" into Japanese.

So what's the holdup on this trade anyway, Andy?

"We continue to talk," he said. "I think with each passing hour at this point, it's less and less likely. I just think it's less likely the further we get this close into it, the greater likelihood that we're going to start with what we have."

Translation: throw in another pitching prospect and you've got yourself a deal, Zell.

The venerable publication Sports Illustrated has made its picks for the 2008 baseball season, and I am going to take this opportunity to point and laugh.

Hmmm, the Reds finishing second? I guess they're believers of the ol' Dusty bounce. I believe in the Dusty bounce, too except it involves pitchers' arms falling off and bouncing off the mound.

Uhh, the Mariners finishing second? Geoff Baker's readers would disagree.

Other than those two, I think they've done a pretty good job ranking the teams. I haven't had a chance to read all the previews, mostly because my eyeballs are about to pop out of my head. I assume, however, that they will make several other predictions that will eventually prove to be entirely off-base. Ha! A baseball pun!

Here are the division winners and playoff participants that I copied and pasted from the Brewers blog guy:

NL Central: Cubs
NL East: Mets
NL West: Rockies
Wild Card: Diamondbacks

AL Central: Tigers
AL East: Yankees
AL West: Angels
Wild Card: Red Sox

Playoffs:
NL: Cubs over Diamondbacks; Rockies over Mets
AL: Tigers over Red Sox; Yankees over Angels

Pennant:
NL: Cubs over Rockies
AL: TIgers over Yankees

World Series: Tigers over Cubs

That actually looks perfectly fine to me, actually, except that this means the Tigers will certainly not win the World Series. They got the vote of confidence curse, which is almost as bad as the cover curse. Speaking of which, I believe the cover of the baseball preview issue will feature Ryan Braun, Troy Tulowitzki and Justin Upton, so watch out kids.

Live from Osceola County Stadium in Kissimmee, Florida, it's your final Grapefruit League Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog, featuring the Houston Astros hosting the Cleveland Indians. Earlier today, the Oakland A's defeated the Boston Red Sox 5-1 in Tokyo, Japan as oft-injured Rich Harden decided to not be injured today and pitched six solid innings to lead his team. Also, Emil Brown hit a home run.

But this afternoon, it's Roy Oswalt versus C.C. Sabathia, so you know these teams aren't effing around. It's the Astros' final spring game in Florida and the Indians' second to last, so let's send them off with a terribly prepared liveglog, after the ol' jump:

The tabloids in New York are known for three things: Barely concealed bias, inane punny headlines, and top of the line sports coverage. If you're looking for sports info in Gotham, you'll find all you need in The Daily News or The Post. HOWEVA, in the interest of bringing you the very finest in breaking baseball coverage, here at WoW we subscribe to just about every newspaper blog out there. The New York Times runs a joint Mets/Yanks column called "Bats" and despite it's unfortunate name, the coverage is decent, especially since the Times is decidedly not known for its sports coverage.

Well on Monday, Yankees beat writer Tyler Kepner made his 2008 AL predictions, and made the mistake of picking the Yankees to miss the playoffs entirely. He has them second in the East, with the Angles securing the Wild Card berth. It didn't take long for some NYT readers to put down their sparkling cider and cry foul. Some excerpts:

So, the Yanks won't even make the playoffs, huh? Maybe *you* should be writing for the Globe, Kepner. If Hughes and Mussina don't start getting guys out, and Pettitte's back aches for a while longer, you just might be right.

You ever notice how rarely you see writers look back at the end of the season to review the accuracy of their pre-season prognostications? Yeah, I think we know why. -- Posted by a.O

I had a great uncle who was an old time New Yorker. Always greeted me with "Have a cigar, boy." He was so old fasioned that he wore spats. His advice that he felt would guide me for the rest of my life was this: "Never bet against the Yankees, boy." -- Posted by JULIAN BARRY

Now I'm not saying there's a connection...but doesn't the New York Times Co. own a part of the Boston Red Sox? Yup, I think so. Interesting...

There hasn't been a Bronx-free playoffs in over a decade, and with Yankee Stadium in its last year and Stienbrenner Jrs in their first, I wouldn't be surprised to see them pull out all the stops come trading deadline this summer. -- Posted by Adam Peck

I wonder what Ken Tremendous has to say about the final year of a stadium's effect on team win shares. Not all of the comments were like this, more than half (a huge percentage for a newspaper blog) were very reasonable, but Kepner felt he had to categorically defend his picks in yesterday's blog. The column comes off as a strange mix of reasoned explanation and "but don't worry I think the Yankees are going to go 162-0 next year."

This scene stands in stark contrast to the one that played out on Geoff Baker's Mariners Blog from The Seattle Times. A couple weeks back after the Angels starting suffering the heavy losses in their rotation, Baker picked the Mariners to win the division. I didn't agree with him at the time, and apparently neither did the vociferous M's fans that got in touch with Baker to let him have it. In his column yesterday, Baker asked aloud, "Just what the hell is up you guys?"

Anyhow, some of you will be pleased with that result. Others, I'm not so sure. I'm now a full 18 months into my stint in Seattle and I'm having a hard time figuring out what drives M's fans. What got me thinking about this was a question from a media colleague last week. "So, what do you think of the fans in Seattle?'' he asked me. "Do they behave like fans in other cities?''

I wanted to tell him yes, but couldn't. That day, I'd already gotten a couple of the usual emails from M's fans chiding me for picking the team to win the division. Haven't stopped hearing about that one. Thing is, I wasn't hearing about it from fans of the A's, Angels or Rangers. I was getting blasted by M's fans. And I'm sorry, that just isn't standard practice in other cities.

Baker goes on to talk about how growing up Montreal, Habs fans were insane, both devotionally and critically, but he couldn't imagine them slamming a local reporter for picking them to win the division.

Even though these two instances fall on opposite ends of the reaction spectrum I think they both point to something positive. Newspapers are finally starting to understand what a blog is supposed to be. It's not having your beat writers pepper me with 20 two-line roster updates every day, and it isn't your columnist telling me about the game and what new records he's listening to. It's a fluid conversation of ideas about baseball between the writer and their readers. Newspapers have the access to make these conversations insightful and meaningful. Maybe once writers begin to make this transformation, they can stop worrying about us bloggers taking their jobs and make the blog part of what they do.

The president of the Baseball hall of fame was forced to resign yesterday, due to "(a failure) to exercise proper fiduciary responsibility" in the best interests of the organization. Yes, Dale Petroskey was a terrible businessman; he probably traded away Babe Ruth's mitt and Ty Cobb's cap in exchange for POGs or something. I've never been to Cooperstown so maybe that was the reason Petroskey was let go: in his nine years of leadership, he failed to entice Rob Iracane to visit. Perhaps this is one reason why I stayed away, Dale:

The Hall of Fame president (Dale Petroskey) canceled a 15th anniversary celebration of "Bull Durham" because of anti-war criticism by co-stars Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. Recent comments by the actors "ultimately could put our troops in even more danger," said Petroskey, a former White House assistant press secretary under