Boof Bonser Loses Weight; Public Gains Uncomfortable Similes

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shows_lose_weight.jpgThe biggest news out of Twins camp is newly svelte Boof Bonser. Homeboy has lost 35 pounds this offseason, which should make it easier on my back picking him up and dropping him 12 times in my fantasy league. Early reports say his stuff looks good, and that's essential to any success Minnesota might have this year. He did it by hiring a nutritionist and upping his activity level. Sounds practical, sounds healthy... but, dude. You're name is Boof. You're supposed to be all tubby.

Regardless of the aesthetics, Twins brass thinks this Al Roker shit is going to have an immediate positive impact his pitching:

"According to Bonser and pitching coach Rick Anderson, he can "finish" his pitches, meaning his gut no longer gets stuck between his chest and thighs like an airbag."

Yeah, I could see how that would be a problem.

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6 Comments

"his gut no longer gets stuck between his chest and thighs like an airbag."

Tony Gwynn is unimpressed.

I didn't know "playoff expectations" weighed 35 pounds.

My cat's name is Boof.

Teen Wolf must be stealing all of his food. WOOOOO!

How the fuck did that guy get Shawn Murphy's undershorts?

Looks like Weird Al is back in shape and ready for a summer tour

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