Daysleeper: Cubs Harness Circadian Rhythms To Win Title

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cubs clock.jpgCubs owner Sam Zell is in talks to sell the Cubs to a state run agency, the Illinois Sports Facilities Authority. One of the most interesting parts of the proposal is that if the deal gets done, the ISFA says Wrigley needs extensive renovations to keep the Cubs, possibly displacing the Cubs for a season, like their crosstown ursine compadres were. In fact they'd probably play the games at US Cellular Field, home of the White Sox. While some may think of this distraction as bad for the team, coumnist Steve Rosenbloom thinks it's the Cubs best shot at a title.

Because I'll tell you what, if the Cubs play mostly night games on the South Side, that will be the reason they win the World Series that season. Baseball players are used to night games and it takes even smart players a long time to adjust to Wrigley's alarm clock. But if you give a good Cubs team a schedule that baseball's body clocks are used to, they'd have to be a favorite, especially in a season like this, where the NL East and West are strong and the Central is weak.

So, think about that: Cubs fans would celebrate the end of the longest championship drought in sports history in the park of their dreaded city rival instead of their outdoor beer garden, so how happy would they actually be? Talk about the ultimate example of being so Cub. And Sox fans will say that the only reason the Cubs won was because they played in a real baseball stadium, but really, how much solace could a South Sider get in knowing that the franchise that sells sunshine will hoist the most recent World Series banner?

Totally, dude. But why wait till then? I have a perfect idea. Instead of wasting time in huge 8 hour chunks, The Cubs should just sleep for 20 minutes of every hour! They'd be like supermen with all they could accomplish.

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Playing day games gives you twisted testicles. See: Felix Pie.

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