Famous Baseball Drunks: A St. Patty's Day Tribute

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kcfanattack020920.jpgNo one enjoys a drink more than me. I also love to shirk responsibility, so excuses are high up on the list of things I like. While I'll be staying home this evening and filling out a stack of brackets, I imagine many of you will be out using St. Patrick's Day as an excuse to get retarded drunk and do things you'll regret until at least the Fourth of July. In your honor, here's a list of drunk baseball milestones. I've left out drunk driving incidents because they're not funny, and I think it would take up too much space on our server.

If there's been a subtext to this blog so far, it's that baseball players are kind of dumb. Throw in some sauce and you get the following sample of the alternatingly despicable, moronic, funny and sad. Much like you at work tomorrow morning.

1907: Ty Cobb gets drunk and slaps a black groundskeeper.

1918: Babe Ruth gets drunk and throws piano into lake.

1931: Lovell Mantle gives birth to son, Mickey.

1980: Bob Welch says of the rehab facility he attended in Arizona: "It's not so bad. It's a great place to meet women."

1988: Roger Clemens heckles the recovered Bob Welch saying: "Drink beer, like a real man, not any more of that milk!"

The Entire decade of the 80's: Wade Boggs drinks over 50 beers on each cross country flight.

1994: Marge Schott says she doesn't want Reds players to wear earrings because "only fruits wear earrings." I assume she was totally loaded, like always.

2001: Mike Cameron drives in 8 RBI in an August game vs. the Yankees. Later admits to being drunk.

2002: Tom Gamboa gets shit kicked out of him by totally wasted William Ligue Jr. and his 15 year old son in Chicago. God, has it been five years already? Hillary should try and tie this to Obama.

2007: Seattle Mariners sign Carlos Silva to $44 million contract. Entrie front office assumed soused.


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6 Comments

How about David Wells' perfect game after getting in a bar fight the night before?

Amazingly, that's the least offensive thing Marge Schott ever said.

@ Eddie Griffin

David Wells' slob act bugged the shit out of me so I didn't even lookup the 3 or 4 things I could think of from him.

I always figured Rod Beck's entire career was based off of some drunken bet he once made someone.

God I love Marge Schott. I like to imagine her and Pete Rose pounding tequila slammers somewhere and laughing their asses off at what a dumbass Dusty Baker is.

My friend's friend is good friends with Eric Byrnes from their college days. When Byrnes was on the A's, we went out and had a lot of Jaeger. He called me a pussy because I didn't take two shots in a row, and he was wearing a sleeveless shirt. The next day, he hit for the cycle against the Giants. After that, he went something like 6 for his next 96 ABs. I blame it on not enough Jaeger.

2002: A good friend of mine did three power hours in a row and then went on to do absolutely nothing for the next five years.

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