Ichiro Hitless In Spring, Still Not Excited About the Cleve

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Everyone's favorite telekinetically-capable center fielder Ichiro Suzuki is having a very terrible run in spring training (I know because I live-glogged it). The Mariners number one hitter in 2007 is 0-for-21 so far in the Cactus League, but don't worry, because he's having fun with it:

"Part of me said, 'Go through, so it can be a hit,' " Ichiro said through an interpreter. "But the other part of me said, 'Make this an out so the streak can continue.' "

Always the competitor, Ichiro is basically trying to top his 0-for-22 streak back in the summer of aught-five. I salute him for striving to suck just a little harder, but I don't get it: Hitless streaks that long are for terrible players like Richie Sexson, not a guy like Ichiro who has amassed nearly 1500 hits in his first seven seasons with the M's. He continues:

"To tell you the truth, some of this is kind of fun," Ichiro said. "To be in a situation this early in Spring Training and have this kind of a bit of intense environment is something that I couldn't experience before. Basically, it's a situation where I need to battle within myself, mentally. That's something that I haven't experienced at this time of year, and I get to experience that right now, and that is great for me. Once I get a hit it might actually make me sad that this experience isn't going to be here any more. But at the same time, I understand I need results."

Translation: "I'm old and I've lost a step, so I either have to figure out a new way to beat out infield grounders or keep making crazy quotes and hopefully get paid by ESPN to analyze baseball. Hey, they hired Emmitt Smith and he can't speak English either."

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I think this is the same way George Bush has looked at his 8 years in office.

I kind of thought "the Cleve" was a term for the uppermost area of the asscheeks.


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