Japanese Baseball Going Green; Tokyo Traffic to Remain Brown

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The new hotness in corporate-speak is 'going green'. If I have to read another announcement about Company A or Organization B 'going green', I am going to tear my beautiful brown hair out. My idea of 'going green' is swallowing a spoonful of green food dye and then peeing emerald. It's just too late for our planet to make up for past environmental mistakes and I fully believe we'll all be destroyed by a super-typhoon-tornado-cane next August. However, this announcement by Japanese baseball in which they will shorten games to reduce carbon emissions actually makes me happy:

Japanese professional baseball players have vowed to shorten playing time per game as part of the national pastime's contribution to the fight against global warming. They will aim to cut playing time by six percent, or 12 minutes, from the average of three hours and 18 minutes per game, the Nippon Professional Baseball (NPB) commissioners' office said.

"When a professional baseball game is staged, a huge amount of carbon dioxides, a cause of global warming, is discharged because it requires use of energy to move players and spectators, supply electricity for lighting and other purposes and dispose of food and drink waste," NPB said in a statement.

Yes, baseball games are too long on both sides of the Pacific, but am I to believe that global warming is caused by four hour April games between the Yankees and the Orioles? If so, then I am all for 'going green' in Major League Baseball, just so I don't have to sit through four painful hours of listening to Michael Kay. Hey umpires, please enforce Rule 8.04 or else the goddamn polar bears will become extinct.

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Well they've already succeeded in having shorter players.

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