Mets Outfield Is a M*A*S*H Unit; McLean Stevenson Isn't Walking Through That Door

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With the news that oft-injured Moises Alou will miss four to six weeks with a groin injury that requires (ooph) hernia surgery (ouch), the Mets are Officially Shorthanded in the Outfield. If you'll follow me to the Mets' depth chart, you'll notice little teeny inversely-colored first aid symbols next to ALL FOUR LEFTFIELDERS:

  • Moises Alou: groin
  • Endy Chavez: ankle
  • Marlon Anderson: sternum
  • Ben J. Johnson: anonymity

Also hurting: starting center fielder Carlos Beltran, right fielder Ryan Church, and Omar Minaya's ego. Omar is currently considering (a) going back in time and un-trading Lastings Milledge or (b) signing an over-the-hill veteran outfielder. Oh, hey, too bad Dusty Baker is collecting them like Beanie Babies.

I like Moises Alou. He's part of a great baseball family and, when he's healthy, he can rake. And even though he's had a recent history of missing significant chunks of playing time due to torn ACL's and labrums and calves and quads, he has magic urine. And hey, his hurt groin is perfectly placed next to the source.


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11 Comments

Oh they're hurt? I just thought those symbols meant they were playing in Switzerland right now.

@Saldawg: No, but Carlos Delgado hurt Luis Castillo's arm giving him an Indian Bern.

@Iracane: They shouldn't mess around like that, the whole team is already injury pRhone.

I think Dan GadZurich has had some of these same injuries in basketball.

Maybe the Mets should get used to Lausanne a lot more games this year.

@Iracane: just an Indian Bern? Lucky he didn't get scAlped.

anonymity...a-no-nymity...anony-mity...that's a funny word. Say it a few times. That, and "scuba."

Oh good, my Mets voodoo doll is working

It's funny to think that the Mets are asking what Benny Agbayani is up to these days. Likely answer? Getting fatter.

Usually people get mad at me when I pee on them. Maybe if I serve them with some literature about the benefits of urea each time I do it I won't have to worry about being stabbed with a Philips head.

I WILL PUNCH YOUR STERNUM

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