Noah Lowry is the New Rick Ankiel; Camp Tiger Claw Empathizes

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Maybe he's just upset about not being the face of the franchise, but Giants pitcher Noah Lowry has had two very bad outings to begin his Spring. Says blogger The Sporting Green:

"Noah Lowry's out in the second inning of today's game after walking nine batters and throwing a few more balls off the screen behind home plate. Two spring outings, two control disasters."

That's two and a third innings pitched in two starts with 12 walks, 6 runs, 1 strikeout, 2 wild pitches, an ERA over 23, but only 2 hits. Hey, Giants fans, don't worry! He only gave up two hits! And if you wait seven years and give the kid some HGH, you'll finally have a starting leftfielder to replace Barry Bonds.

Our own Camp Tiger Claw suffered some control problems, too, at the tender age of 10. He threw a no-hitter but walked seven Little Leaguers in the process. He was like a miniature AJ Burnett, except without the repeated elbow surgeries, fingernail injuries, and douchebag rock bands.

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If only I had listened to the worst music imaginable, I'd be in the major leagues. Dammit.

I hate this post almost as much as I hate that alliterative headline on the Marlins' website.

On the subject of baseball players and crappy music...

futuremrsnoahlowry agrees.

I like ween

@ Jiegel

Who is this ween of which you speak?

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