Pelican Kamikazes Japanese Reporter; Radiation Kamikazes Jon Lester's Tumor

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The Boston Globe's own Dan Shaughnessy has a blog, and he's not afraid to use it. Baseball beat writers like Dan must be absolutely stoked that they have blogs now where they can relay obviously inconsequential anecdotes and wacky stories that they normally can only use sparingly, perhaps just once a week in their columns. Also stoked: bloggers like me and CTC who can recycle these inconsequential anecdotes and wacky stories for the enjoyment of our 72 readers. Oops I just broke down the fourth wall!

Dan gives us these two gems from the Red Sox only healthy pitcher (ironic!) Jon Lester's start against the hapless Mets:

In two random, unrelated events, a Japanese newspaper reporter arrived late for the game because his windshield was shattered by what he said was a low-flying pelican. Then a foul ball shattered the computer screen of Joe McDonald of the Providence Journal while he was downstairs interviewing Lester.

Pelicans normally divebomb the water to scoop up delicious fish, so our Japanese reporter friend must have had some takeout sushi on his passenger seat. Note to self: when traveling in Port St. Lucie, keep spicy yellowtail rolls in the glove compartment.

Dan doesn't tell us off whose bat that otherwise stray foul ball that destroyed McDonald's computer came, so I'm going to have to assume Joe Morgan was taking some hacks for the Sox since he hates computers so much. Reading McDonald's last blog post is like reading all those MySpace pages from those dead kids, except much sadder. RIP JOEY MAC'S LAPPY!!!1!

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No word on whether area Walgreen's have limited the sale of Alka-Seltzer to customers of Asian descent. Revenge, like futomaki, is a dish best served cold.

72 readers! Movin on up!!! To the EAST SIDE!

I want to reach through my computer and punch that pelican mascot.

Thus, further proving the theory that pelicans hate people with cancer.

Why couldn't that ball have hit Dan Shaughnessy on that Ronald McDonald wig wearing head of his? Also, keep an eye out for his new book "The Curse of the Pelican."

Julian Tavarez is ready for action. on the mound.

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