Red Sox Vs. A's Liveglog

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liveglog.jpg 6:08 AM: Whoa! Who set my alarm, Eric Gagne? At least I didn't miss first pitch.

6:10 AM: First pitch of 2008 is a strike from Joe Blanton to Pedroia.. second pitch hit between short and second. Pedroia gets on.

6:12: Youkilis hits a chopper to Hannahan at third, bobbled, gets the out at first. This A's Team is a really shitty one to blog about at 6AM since like 12 of them are making their major league debut. Ortiz flies out to Hannahan.

6:14: I hope "Manny is going to have a monster year" isn't the "Vampire Weekend is going to be huge" of the 2008 Red Sox season. Red Sox commentator Joe Orsillo just said it. Manny flies out. End of the Boston 1st.

6:18: Beckett's back injury gives Matsuzaka the start. For some reason it just feels right... oh that's right the stadium is filled with thousands of other slightly frightened Japanese. Synergy. Buck grounds out to second. One down.

6:20: As Jerry Remy is talking about the lack of power in the A's lineup, Mark Ellis takes a fastball to the left field stands.

6:21: Matsusaka walks Barton on 5 pitches, including one that went to the backstop. I still have sleep in my eyes and need to pee.

6:23: Jack Cust strides to the plate after eating a giant HGH capsule with chop sticks. Impressive.

6:25: Matsuzaka hits Cust in the foot. Two on, one out.

6:26: Wild pitch. Both runners advance. Something tells me Matsuzaka may not hive his best stuff working. Maybe it's culture shock or the time difference or something. Walk. Bases loaded.

6:30: Swinging bunt from Crosby, Matsuzaka wheels and makes a nice barehanded play to first. 2 down, 2-0 A's. Eggs would be good.

6:33: Matsuzaka strikes out Hannahan. The A's leave the first with a 2 run lead, while Matsuzaka leads Hannahan 4-3 in mentions in the WoW liveblog. Lots of my friends lead me in life, Sleeping to Awake And Blogging.

6:35: Lowell leads off with a single to center. I'm amazed Remy hasn't called anyone a "nip" yet.

6:36: Brandon Moss gets the start as JD Drew sits out opening day with "back stiffness." Grounds into a fielder choice, Lowell out at second. I've decided to stop bolding the timestamp.

6:39 Varitek ends the inning grounding into a double. Anyone know how to make keyboard shortcuts on a Mac? I feel like I'll be typing that one a lot this season.

6:41: You can smoke almost anywhere in Japan right? No wonder Remy is so cheery.

6:42: Kurt Suzuki hits a single into center on the first pitch. Before that Orsillo made a point of saying, "Kurt Suzuki, born in Hawaii and rasied in Redondo Beach." I know why you said that, racist.

6:43: Mike Sweeney flies out to left. "So we want to rebuild the team. Bring in an infusion of young exciting talent. LET'S SIGN MIKE SWEENEY."

6:45: 31 pitches thrown for Matsuzaka with 1 down and a full count in the second. Buck strikes out, Suzuki into second on the steal.

6:48: Major League home run leader Mark Ellis steps to the plate.

6:49: Other than "singing and chanting when batters come up" Remy has found Japanese crowds reserved. Other than being tired, kind of hungry and still not having had a chance to piss, I'm enjoying this 6 AM liveblogging thing.

6:52: Ellis walks. Two on. The backstop ad is for something called Spring Waltz. That's obviously something to do with the vagina, right?

6:54: Matsuzaka walks Daric Barton. Bases loaded. It's a good thing for the Red Sox this is still Spring Training!

6:58: Strike three. Matsuzaka gets out of the jam. Jam would be good. Toast? Can someone make me toast? I am so alone.

7:00: Remy's thoughts on the Japan trip: "Expensive" "Different" (x2) "Interesting" "Like Times Square but clean." I'm having a hard time believing an international man of culture like him didn't enjoy his trip. They must not have Salisbury Steak over there. Ellsbury leads off the top of the 3rd.

7:02: Lugo singles to center after Ellsbury flied out. I think he flied out. I was making a Salisbury Steak joke.

7:04 Joe Blanton has blonde hair and a brown chin goatee thing. Pitchers are so fucking ugly. Pedroia flies out to right.

7:05 I think I can hear some people doing the Youk chant. Either that or they're saying "Miso Soup"... I can never tell!

7:07: Hannahan makes a diving Chavezesque play at third but Youkilis beats the throw by a step. Ortiz up with two on.

7:09: Ortiz hits into the shift as flashbulbs start popping. The players jog off the field as flash bulbs are popping. They go into the dugout as flashbulbs pop at an empty field...

7:13: Both Orsillo and Remy are saying that they have "trouble with the tee." I thought they were talking about "tea" since they're in japan and all, but they're not. What the fuck is going on?

7:14: Crosby grounds out to the pitcher. 2 down, I clearly missed the first out. Crosby has hit the ball twice for a total of 7 feet. Hannahan up!

7:17: Just as I was getting ready to break for orange juice and a piss (it's not a drink it's two separate things) Matsuzaka walks Hannahan. Jerk. One on, two outs.

7:18 Beautiful play by Lugo! Leaped to make the grab. With his glove and the way he's hitting the ball you have to think he's an MVP candidate right now.

7:22 Manny flies out to right. I'm going to flip over to the game for the ESPN2 coverage.

7:23: Ah yes, local blackout. I was just horrified by the televised Mike & Mike. If anyone ever told me they were going to televise my radio show I'd tell em to stick it. Lowell flies out. I mean that's one of the perks of being on radio. You could show up to work wearing anything you wanted and looking like shit. After I told them all that, I'd thank them for giving me a radio show in the first place though because I'm not ungrateful. Brandon Moss grounds out.

7:28 Jesus, Kyle Snyder is warming up. He should not be legally allowed to pitch on opening day. Who just flied out to start the bottom of the 4th? Someone did, I saw it.

7:30 Matsuzaka strikes out Buck, making his first start of 2008 exactly like 85% of his starts in 2007. Long Ball King Mark Ellis grounds out. 1-2-3 inning.

7:32: This is why Kyle Snyder should never pitch, anywhere, even if it's on another continent.

7:34: Varitek leads off inning with a strikeout and, GAHH! The sun just came up over the building across the way and is shining it's killer death ray directly in my eyes!! Gahh!! Morning baseball sucks ass. /fumbles to pull down shade.

7:36: And there's the first shot of a folorn looking Coco Crisp sitting on the bench of 2008.

7:38: Ellsbury grounds out and someone is awake to make me coffee.

7:39: Lugo grounds out. 5th inning stretch!

7:43: Matsuzaka strikes out Barton, and looks to be settling in. If he gets through five that will be way more than it appeared he would after two.

7:45: If I went to school with Jack Cust, I would have called him "Cust Tard." Then he would have beaten the shit out of me. Cust is out.

7:46: Emil Brown grounds out to third and Matsuzaka is now coasting. Coffee is ready.

7:49: I was just trying to think of any funny commercials I've seen on NESN and I can't remember seeing one yet this morning. It's possible I may be taking 45 second naps between half innings. Pedroia leads off the sixth with a double off the right field wall.

7:51: I just realized I forgot to put in the jump in this story. Rob is going to yell at me and I'm not gonna get a sticker on my sticker chart for today. Youkilis walks. Ortiz up with two on for the second time this game.

7:56: Ortiz flies out in foul territory along the third base stands. Nice play by Hannahan and nice work by Blanton. One down, Manny Up. Manny knocks in two on a first pitch double.

7:58: Lowell up, game tied at two. Kids, I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about using a French Press to make your coffee. It's the only way to get the most natural and delicious taste out of your coffee, and hell it's energy efficient. That's French Pressed Coffee! Try it today! Lowell strikes out.

8:01: Brandon Moss drives in Manny with a single to right. 3-2 Boston.

8:04 Alan Embree and his pin-straight, no movement fastball have come in for the A's.

8:05: The camera catches Manny picking his nose.

8:07: Varitek strikes out to end the inning. Hey look, I had the same haircut as Dice-K in little league:

card.jpg















Neat, huh?

8:11: Harbinger of Doom, Kyle Snyder has entered for the Red Sox. Aaand promptly gives up a hit.

8:13: Kyle Snyder gives up a 2 Run bomb to good ol' Hannahan. Because Kyle Snyder fucking sucks.

8:14: This seems as good a time as any to hand off to Rob so I can go to work. I told you Kyle Snyder is a tool. Later.

8:17: Hey, it's your pal Rob! How odd that the Red Sox started losing as soon as I turned on my radio. Yes, I will be liveglogging a game on radio that you all are home watching, still tucked into bed. I'm also listening to the A's radio announcers. They are giddy.

8:20: So what did I miss? I heard Dice-K was dicey. And Mark Ellis did something good. Anyone want to catch me up with some sort of time-stamped game log?

8:23: Ellsbury leads off with a single through the infield. Hey, remember when the A's got good outfielders from the Royals, like John Damon? Now they're stuck with Emil Brown? Shit. Oh, a double play. Anything that gets this game over sooner is good with me.

8:26: Maybe I should turn on that MLB Gamecast thingamajig so I know what's going on....oh, Pedroia grounded out.

8:29: Mark Ellis flies out to lead off the bottom of the seventh and the Sox bring in Javier Lopez to pitch to Daric Barton

8:32: Barton lines out. He's on my fantasy team. Jack Cust is up and it's really hot in my office, or maybe it's just the tea.

8:34: Cust strikes out and we're going to the eighth. I think the MLB Gameday thinger is actually updating faster than my satellite radio. Perhaps because the radio signal has to get to outerspace and back, whereas the Gameday data only has to swim through the innertubes.

8:36: Keith motherfucking Foulke is on the mound. Holy shit, when did this guy come back to baseball?

8:37: Youkilis hits one hard and deep but just not hard and deep enough. One out.

8:39: Keith Foulke versus David Ortiz, for all the peanuts. Papi works a full count. Remember the 2003 playoffs? A's versus Red Sox? Fenway Park? Yeah, that happened.

8:40: Ortiz lines out to Emil Brown. Two out, and Manny is up.

8:41: WTF, I show up and you all disperse? Where are you all going? Work?

8:43: Foulke must have altered his mechanics which affected his release point but it all doesn't matter now because he struck out Manny. I have no idea what that means but the announcer guy just said it and he was very very pleased with himself. Middle of the eighth!

8:46: Bryan Corey is your new Red Sox pitcher, and the PA system is fucking playing Sweet Caroline. Damn you, Japanese stadium place...don't you know this is an A's home game?

8:48: Corey actually pitched in Japan, so he understands the subtle difference between the two cultures. Like how Americans have cheeseburgers and the Japanese have tentacle rape. Emil Brown just hit a really far fly ball that Jacoby Ellsbury caught in some sort of fantastic way that I cannot see because I am listening to the game on a radio.

8:49: Bobby Crosby hits a foul pop that Youkilis falls into the stands to catch, but he didn't catch it. Or so I've been told. Crosby dribbles a weak ball in front of the plate that Varitek picks up and throws to first. This is called a "ground out". Hannahan (I don't know who that is) grounds out and we're going to the ninth!

8:52: The A's closer Huston Street is on to close this fucker out. Your Red Soxes this inning include Lowell, Moss, and Varitek.

8:53: If you guessed (c) then you won the attendance quiz! There are 44,628 people at the game. Good to know.

8:54: Fly ball to Sweeney in center. Mike Lowell has been shamed.

8:55: Brandon Moss is up. He had an RBI single in this game allegedly. I was commuting at the time and perhaps I should have had the game on the radio, but instead, I was listening to Barenaked Ladies.

8:56: Moss hit a homerun and this game is tied! Four all! Rookie power!

8:58: Jason Varitek is working the count. Okajima is throwing in the Boston bullpen now.

8:59: Oops, Varitek struck out.

9:00: Ellsbury is up and hit he a very long foul ball. In Japan, those are called "Very Long Foul Balls". Then he lines out to Emil Brown. We're going to the bottom of the ninth!

9:01: Thanks to 'duk at Big League Stew for linking to us. If you actually want to know what's going on though, I recommend opening the MLB Gameday in a separate window.

9:02: Okajima comes out of the bullpen and his countrymen are going wild. Not because of him, but because they are shooting schoolgirls underpanties into the crowd in one of those hot dog cannons.

9:04: Kurt Suzuki is up, and I believe new Athletic Mike Sweeney is on deck as your pinch hitter. Hey Billy Beane, enough with the ex-Royals!

9:05: Suzuki is struck out and struck down by Okajima. One out.

9:06: Mike Sweeney is pinch hitting for Ryan Sweeney. I don't know where Julia Sweeney is but you can be sure she is not being paid to act.

9:08: Sweeney earns a walk and Fiorentino will pinch run. Jeff Fiorentino. That's a good dago name.

9:10: Travis Buck is 0-for-4 so far today. Let's see what he can make of that now.

9:11: And now he's 0-for-5. Jerk.

9:14: Mark Ellis is your batter. Full count. Fiorentino is off....and Ellis grounds back to the pitcher. Hey, free baseball!

9:17: Yes, it is the top of the tenth now and Huston Street is still in the game.

9:19: Your Red Sox hitters this inning will be Lugo, Pedroia and Youkilis. Lugo gets on with an infield hit as Hannahan just couldn't get a grip on the ball.

9:20: Pedroia sac-bunts Lugo over to second. Barton fields and flips to the second baseman Ellis, 3-4.

9:22: Youkilis is up and with an open base at first they'll probably walk hi...oh nevermind, Ortiz is on deck.

9:24: Youkilis strikes out and then they do indeed intentionally walk David Ortiz.

9:26: Manny is up.

9:28: Manny just hit one very hard and it's over Fiorentino's head. Two runs score and it's 6-4. Wow.

9:29: Huston Street fucks the A's and my fantasy team, so Bob Geren takes the ball from him and sends him to the showers.

9:32: Lenny DiNardo is your new A's pitcher and Coco Crisp is your new Red Sox runner, replacing Manny. Mike Lowell is up.

9:33: Lowell is intentionally walked, Brandon Moss follows by flying out to Emil Brown. We're going to the bottom of the tenth.

9:36: Alex Cora is your new Sox shortstop. Papelbon is your new Sox pitcher. Coco Crisp is your new Red Sox center fielder. Barton, Cust and Brown are your A's hitters this inning.

9:38: Thank God there are two of us. This game has gone on way too long for just one of us to liveglog. Daric Barton is fighting off fastballs like it's his job. Oh, it is his job?

9:40: The count is full. Papelbon wants this strikeout so bad he can smell it. Or maybe he's just smelling the aftergame spread of mackerel and bean sprouts. Barton walks! Moneyball works!

9:42: Jack Cust is probably the most likely guy on the A's to hit a home run but he's also the most likely guy to strike out. Let's see what happens, as the count is 0-2.

9:44: Cust strikes out for the fourth time. I believe in Japan this is called a Golden Sombrero. Emil Brown doubles Barton in but then gets caught up in a rundown and he is OUT! 6-5 Red Sox. Brown really browned the bed on that one.

9:46: Crosby gets a base hit and Emil Brown is turning very, very red in the dugout. Or so I'm told.

9:48: Hannahan is up now and he lines a base hit, moving Crosby to second. Kurt Suzuki is your new batter.

9:50: Suzuki grounds out and the game is mercifully over. Red Sox win 6-5 and Emil Brown must now thrust a samurai sword through his belly as penance for fucking up the A's comeback. Nice baserunning, pal!

9:52: That game was three hours and thirty-nine minutes but because it was in Japan, the yen conversion factor made it seven decades long.


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76 Comments

I hear mounds are typically softer in Japan. I don't know what that means.

Clever how Cust kicks back to get hit by that one. The man's been working on making contact all year and it shows.

I saw him bicycle kick a high and tight fastball last week. Impressive.

Now *that* was a productive miserable hack at the ball.

God help me, I keep hoping Jack Hannahan will show off the marmoset and baby cougar he brought with him.

so, the Sox are done, right? 0-2 in the first? it's ovah.

Fun game: When they pan the Red Sox bench, say, "Forty thousand, forty thousand, forty thousand, forty thousand, forty thousand, forty thousand, aaaaaaand forty thousand."

System Preferences|Keyboard & Mouse|Keyboard Shortcuts. Hit the "+" button and add "Veteran Toughness" as a shortcut.

where did they find those hitters? they have some sweet plate discipline.

CTC, why do you hate Mike Sweeney? He's gritty. Like a big David Eckstein.

That's not grit, that's just the sound of bone on bone.

Is it too much to ask for the game to go 15 innings and Remy to sing Styx in the 14th?

Wow, Lugo hit that pitch like he was married to it.

you know, beer for breakfast just isn't as good at 35 as it was at 19. I guess I'll have a scotch bartender. And some jam.

The pitch denies it was ever hit.

Youkilis actually beats out a pitch to first... well slap me silly.

*a HIT to first, perhaps. Fuck me it's so goddamn early.

Ortiz, Ramirez, and Lowell: The Hardrock, Coco, and Joe of Boston.

Dice-K is clearly Tingles The Christmas Tension.

How do I know you're not serious about winning? Emil Brown is allowed to own a baseball glove provided by your team.

I think they make him bring his own glove.

So apparently Dice-K threw a no-hitter in grade school

Fuck me. I have no desire to wake up to Bud Selig. I'd rather live the opening scene of "The Morning After".

I know, its like someone opened the Arc of the Covenant.

A little plane trouble == ALMOST DIED.

Horseshoes, hand grenades, and used car salesmen.

I don't think it's on ESPN2 here... I only know this because I missed the first half of the first inning listening to Mike and Mike and waiting for the goddamn thing to come on.

I like to think the sign under Bud's face says, "It's true; this man has no dick."

Don't forget herpes. A toilet seat, who would've thought.

Fuck, I can't believe I didn't make the Vampire Weekend joke first.

It's on ESPN2 here; in Boston, I *think* it's on ESPNNews.

"THE STEROID THING"?!??!? So. Much. Hate.

http://refrigeratorlogic.wordpress.com/files/2008/03/travisbuck.png

Glad to see Travis Buck is getting into the cultural exchange program.

Its getting difficult to hear the game over the sound of Selig and Phillips patting themselves on the back.

Two words... "Sawx Groupie".

If you saw Travis Buck on the street somewhere (and of course you didn't know who he was, because why would you?), you would probably think to yourself, "Man, that guy looks like a douchebag named Travis."

That's the second time Bud's mentioned his plane trips. He's DYING for one of them to mention his brave "sitting-quietly-in-his-seat"-ery over Mitchell a week or two ago.

Bud Selig is the Destroyer of Baseball Who Destroys at Midnight.

You know how I know Bud Selig is the Destroyer of Baseball Who Destroys at Midnight? Because I'm watching a Red Sox game at 7:41 before they fly back to California for more exhibition games.

I think ESPN needs some more stereotypical music for its transition shots.

6:08 AM: Whoa! Who set my alarm, Eric Gagne? At least I didn't miss first pitch.

Technically, your alarm would have just imploded on itself like a neutron star, but whatever.

Sox wake up when CTC gets coffee.

....

HE'S A WITCH!

That's just Manny-san being Manny-san.

Just did a stand-up-jump-fist-pump thing that got a few weird looks.

Moss just French Pressed Manny in from second.

Simmons just put his Brandon Moss jersey on eBay.

Over/under on people raging about why a baseball game is on in place of the televised Mike & Mike broadcast?

Needs more gyroballs.

I need more coffee.

That's what I like about Kyle Snyder. He can give you a couple of innings, a spot start, a lead-changing home run to the other team. He's, you know, versatile.

Kyle Snyder and Travis Buck have copied each other's haircuts and asshat mannerisms.

Emil Brown with a glove. Man, that cracks me up every time.

The Claw was paying us. Where's our check?

Also, we were off sculpting Ellsbury's outreached arm in our shower soap.

Did you know you can put ketchup on cheeseburgers *and* tentacle porn? We're not so different after all.

J.D. Pipp.

Ha, like anyone who reads this blog has a job. I was buying smack from a 13 year-old.

We're that much closer to my Styx dream!

If a bullpen is a living, breathing organism, then someone should put down the A's 'pen.

This game was like whack-a-mole. I felt ok coming to work since Snyder would probably give up 200 runs, and i get to work and it's tied.

THAT'S A SPICY MEAT-A-BALLA!

If Manny can crush Japanese pitching like this, imagine what Bonds could do over a whole season.

Wait, that's Huston Street?

"Manny is going to have a monster year"

That monster? Gamera.

I was thinking Yokozuna.

Huston Street has bizarre teeth and ugly groupies. What did you expect?

Lenny DiNardo? Bringing in the fifth starter... what is this the World Series?

DiNardo? Sounds Italian. I don't trust him.

I like when Remy says "Okajeemer."

Are we allowed to talk about our fantasy teams here?

That's the setup for the bottom of the 10th? I'd like to order off-menu, please. This is as unpalatable as octopus balls.

Tuffy : Emil Brown :: CTC : Kyle Snyder

Why hasn't Daric stolen second? No one's holding him on and it would be the best video of the week.

I mean, other than Emil running out a double.

Man, I love Emil Brown. He's so easy to predict.

Oakland probably should make Emil Brown bring his own spikes too.

And a friend that knows how to play baseball.

And a ticket.

Okajima with the win, Papelbon with the save, and Emil Brown with the loss.

That's just Emil being Emil.

The A's should have signed his brother, Nomel Brown instead.

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