Scott Rolen May Be Self Destructive; Paranoid

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SadGuy.jpgYesterday's New York Times ran a story about Scott Rolen and his new digs up in Toronto. The story's headline, "Rolen Enjoying New Address: With Toronto, and Far From La Russa," belies the distrubing mental unrest that lies deep within the dark and tortured chasm of Rolen's mind and soul.

When Rolen, was asked if he would agree to an interview, he turned from infielder to interrogator. Rolen wanted to know what kind of questions he would have to field.

There are few conditions more debilitating than chronic paranoia. While I'm no medical expert, I can't help but wonder if the malady is part of a larger condition hinted at in the article: Self Destructive Behavior. The clue comes from midget folk hero David Eckstein:

"Eckstein said Rolen reveled in rumbling into middle infielders, which could be contagious."
While some may call that hustle, history suggests otherwise. WoW intern Darren found two instances of Rolen injuring his shoulder on the basepaths.

"Cardinals third baseman Scott Rolen injured his left shoulder in a collision at first base on Tuesday night and was removed from St. Louis' game against the Dodgers... a collision with Arizona's Alex Cintron knocked Rolen out of the 2002 postseason, also with a left shoulder injury."
His continued wreckless abandon can mean only that he loathes the game in which he has made his name, and is trying to sabotage it. Hey this isn't my opinion, it's science.

Just like the theorem that posits if Rolen's shoulder and AJ Burnett's elbow ever touch it will create a black hole. Be careful out there fellas. Mental issues are one thing, destroying the time/space fabric of creation is quite another.

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8 Comments

What about Old Biff and Young Biff? What happens if they touch?

Dr. Eckstein doesn't realize that his grittiness is also contagious.

Frank Thomas has been asked not to pillowfight either Rolen or Burnett this season.

@Farthammer: they exchange Gray's Sports Almanac. Duuuuh.

I'm surprised Rolen was able to give this interview for fear of his jaw breaking.

WithLeather does not like you

WithLeather can eat a cocksicle. Especially the Favre-hating MMP.

With Leather is the Entourage of sports blogs.

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