Spring Chickens: American League

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kid.jpgIn the interest of writing about something Spring Training related that will actually effect the season, Rob and I will be highlighting rookies from each squad. I'm using the same requirements as MLB for rookie classification.

Even if these youngsters don't have a breakout season, they've already accomplished much more than those little assholes who stand outside my Circle K, smoking and blocking the door. I HAVE A LEG BRACE ON, YOU TWERPS.

  • Baltimore Orioles: The Orioles had a couple glimmers of hope going into what is sure to be a mostly dark season, and right now even those aren't looking so good. Lefty Troy Patton, the centerpiece (for the O's) of the Miguel Tejada deal is out for the year after a labrum tear. Defensive specialist and likely Tejada replacement, Luis Hernandez has made 3 errors already this spring, and if he digs himself a hole defensively his bat won't get him out. Reliever Radhames Liz has shown improvement from last season, and could play a role in the bullpen at some point this season.

  • Boston Red Sox: Blah blah Jacoby Ellsbury... blah blah Clay Buchholz.

  • Chicago White Sox: Chicago is trotting out 3 young pitchers: Gavin Floyd and John Danks in the rotation, and Nick Masset in the pen. I'm not sure if they're technically rookies and don't feel like looking it up. Oh well, I went three teams in before dropping the conceit. Anyway, Chicago's season is riding on more young hands then Teri Hatcher. Unfortunately for my comedy, true rookie Lance Broadway has been getting the shit knocked out of him.

  • Cleveland Indians: The Indians have 3 lefties in camp vying for a rotation spot. The Indians like Aaron Laffey's stuff, but Cliff "Best Lefty In The Game" Lee seems to have emerged as the fifth starter.

  • Detroit Tigers: Detroit traded the last of the big league ready young talent to the Marlins, but with the bullpen disintegrating like a tab of acid, don't be surprised to see some call ups.

  • Kansas City Royals: Luke Hochevar was the No. 1 overall pick in 2006 and following a strong spring, has a chance of making the staff. There are 7 things working in his favor as he tries to grab one of two open roster spots: Brett Tomko, John Bale, Jorge De La Rosa, Kyle Davies, Hideo Nomo, Brian Lawrence and Mike Maroth.

  • Los Angeles Angles Of Anaheim: Brandon Wood and Erick Aybar have been putting up solid minor league numbers and now look to crack the Angels lineup and join that Mouseketeer-aged infield. In researching this piece I've seen Wood compared to Mark Bellhorn, Mike Schmidt, and Troy Glaus. I think this just means he's really dumb. Aybar could split time at SS with Maicer Izturis.

  • Minnesota Twins: Both Phillip Humber and Carlos Gomez came over from the Mets in the Santana deal. Humber is a middling starter who's already had Tommy John surgery. Gomez has been called "raw" by every publication that's written about him or Mets fan that's mentioned him. Through experience I've found this projects to a .235 average, 25 SBs and lots of grunting and mastication of live animals. What a trade!

  • New York Yankees: Blah blah Joba Chamberlain... blah blah Phil Hughes... blah blah Ian Kennedy.

  • Oakland A's: A piece in itself, the guys at Baseball Analysts projected 6 different rookies making a dent. 1B Daric Barton has gotten the most press. He suffered a hand injury this spring but returned to the lineup with a HR.

  • Seattle Mariners: Catcher Jeff Clement was the 3rd overall pick in 2005. He has dynamic skills behind the plate. Unfortunately, Seattle's third favorite Japanese guy, (1. Ichiro 2. Masaharu Morimoto) Kenji Johjima, has a lock on the position. Manager John McLaren says he has "too high a ceiling" to be a backup and will probably start the season at AAA.

  • Tampa Bay Rays: Evan Longoria has garnered so much hype without doing anything that you'd think he was discovered by Pitchfork.

  • Texas Rangers: Homegrown Eric Hurley is a big kid with big expectations. The Rangers are wary of pushing him too quickly, but with Brandon McCarthy hurt, there could be a spot for him. People also like 1B Chris Davis, but our boy Evan Grant expects him to start the year in the minors.

  • Toronto Blue Jays: Older than God.

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A brace? That's a strange thing on a foot at the Circle K.

Also, I haven't been this excited about Red Sox youth since Brian Rose and Wilton "He has to be good, he's Dominican!" Veras.

Looks like i have the place to myself this morning.


(does a little soft-shoe)

Why are you so excited? CTC clearly said "blah blah" for the Sox rookies.

I still love Brian Rose. That dude got them Pedro.

As far as getting excited for Sox youth, my mom used to decorate the binders I kept all my baseball cards in. Last time I was home I found one that is dedicated front and back to Phil Plantier. I thought that guy was gonna be Babe Ruth. I was also 9.

I am fluent in PeanutsAdultese, and translated in my head.

I was a big Gator guy. Sad, really.

those little assholes who stand outside my Circle K, smoking and blocking the door. I HAVE A LEG BRACE ON, YOU TWERPS.


CTC, was that you in front of me in line at Trader Joe's yesterday trying to return a can of soup so you could re-buy it with a coupon?

"but with the bullpen disintegrating like a tab of acid"

AH-HA! I knew the Todd Jones Experience was drug-related!

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