Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club: Blue Jays @ Red Sox

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Welp, looks like the ol' dispute is over because the game is happening today, albeit an hour later than it was scheduled. Starter Daisuke Matsuzaka was scratched so the Red Sox will go with David Aardsma, while the Blue Jays will start someone named Brian Tallet.

Follow me after the jump for the ol' liveglog:

1:14PM: Wee David Eckstein led off the game with a groundout; Shannon Stewart follows with a walk. The Red Sox announcer actually referred to Eckstein as 'wee'.

1:17PM: Alex Rios is up and he pops out to second. The Giants were actually going to trade Tim Lincecum to get this chucklehead? Really?

1:20PM: Vernon Wells flies out to Coco Crisp and the top of the first is over. Looks like Ellsbury is in left field today which means Manny must be out of the lineup. I don't know why I said "looks like" because I cannot see the game.

1:23PM: Dustin Pedroia leads off and grounds out to Wee Eckstein, who allegedly made a fantastic defensive gem. Kevin Youkilis is up, and hits a 340 foot foul ball. You know what they call that? A long foul ball. Youk walks...the PA guy announces that there has been a resolution between MLB and the players regarding the coaches' stipend.

1:27PM: David Ortiz strikes out. We are informed that one of the Red Sox players will be made available to the media after the game to discuss the resolution. Jacoby Ellsbury lines out to end the inning. Hey, Collective Soul is playing Twin River Casino!

1:32PM: As per some chick who covers the A's, Oakland was prepared to do whatever the Red Sox did regarding the boycott of the Japan series. Fuckin' followers.

1:35PM: Scott Rolen gets a base hit to lead off the 2nd; Lyle Overbay follows with a base hit up the middle. First and second, nobody out. Second baseman Aaron Hill is up now...and he flies out to Ellsbury in left.

1:36PM: Plodding Gregg Zaun grounds into a double play and the inning is over. Really, Blue Jays? Gregg Zaun as your starting catcher? Really?

1:40PM: Boston is supposed to fly out at 6PM...what are the chances this game goes the full nine innings? Either way, what are the chances I go the full nine? Mike Lowell and J.D. Drew both made an out. Catcher Kevin Cash is up.

1:41PM: Tallet struck out the side! WHATS WRONG WITH THE RED SOX!

1:44PM: At this point, I'm just tired of hearing about the boycott. Sigh. Reed Johnson leads off the 3rd; Bryan Corey is pitching now for the Sox.

1:48PM: Reed Johnson flies out to Coco Crisp. Ellsbury snags an Eckstein fly out. Shannon Stewart is up. I don't like the fact that Shannon Stewart is supposed to be the offensive savior of the Blue Jays...this team will certainly finish fourth. They stink. Hey, Stewart flew out too.

1:51PM: Coco Crisp leads off the bottom of the third with a single. The Sox would be crazy to trade him; he's too good and they'd be better off with the depth. Shawn Camp is your new Blue Jays pitcher.

1:54PM: Julio Lugo strikes out. I'll save that in my auto-text for the rest of the season.

1:57PM: Dustin Pedroia lines a single to right field. Two on and one out. Hey, Wee Eckstein didn't make a single error last season! But didn't he* miss like half the year? Youkilis homers. It's 3-0 Red Sox.

2:00PM: The Sox have thirteen home runs in their past 7 spring games. In other words, the Red Sox are adept in the art of homerun hitting. Ortiz strikes out again. WHATS WRONG WITH THE RED SOX! Ellsbury is up now...he grounds out, first baseman Overbay to pitcher Camp. End of three, 3-0 Sox.

2:03PM: It is confirmed that this game will last nine innings. It is also confirmed that I will stop at 3PM because I can. Rios is up; he hit safely in all 18 games last year against the Yankees, which explains why the Giants wanted him so badly. Annnnd he popped out to first basegentlemen Sean Casey. Aww that Sean Casey is such a nice guy!

2:06PM: Kevin Youkilis, the Red Sox player rep, will be speaking to the media within five minutes. This explains the existence of Sean Casey in my liveglog. That Sean Casey is really a nice dude. Vernon Wells got a hit which brings up Scott Rolen, who line drive singles to left...cut off by Crisp...Wells around third...Lugo gets the cutoff...play at the plate...WELLS OUT AT HOME. Nice throw, Loogs. 8-6-2.

2:07PM: Lyle Overbay ends the inning by making an out. Save that for auto-text.

2:10PM: Mike Lowell strikes out. This Camp character is pretty good. Drew lines out to Aaron Hill. Shit I don't know how Kevin Cash made out, but he did. Stupid Monday Morning Punter interrupted my liveglog.

2:17PM: Javy Lopez is your new Red Sox pitcher. This is not the Braves catcher, but my colleague informs me that they were both on the Sox two years ago. Bizarre!

2:20PM: Aaron Hill strikes out. I can never just say "Hill" it has to be "Aaron Hill". Gregg Zaun grounds out to second. Reed Johnson is up. I think I might dislike the Blue Jays more than I dislike the Red Sox now.

2:22PM: The announcers are discussing the International Date Line, and when exactly they will get the day back that they are losing. Oh man, this is even better than the time Niehaus was trying to figure out Daylight Saving Time. Johnson strikes out...middle of the fourth.

2:25PM: Coco Crisp popped up. He's just not good enough to trade I guess. Lugo is up, and has zero chance to GIDP; instead, he just plain grounds out. Boo!

2:28PM: Pedroia flies out to Wells and that inning is over. From my friend: "There was an article in the New York Times today that said scientists who drink beer are published far less frequently than their peers who don't drink". Well that makes perfect sense to me.

2:30PM: Here are your defensive changes for the Sox: Timlin -> pitchers mound, Thurston -> left, Cora -> short, Lowrie -> second, Ellsbury -> center. Eckstein is up. The press box is empty because everyone is downstairs hanging with Youkilis. He's dreamy!

2:33PM: Eckstein is on first, I don't know how he got there and don't know what he's gonna do with it. Stewart is up. Livegloggin's hard, y'all!

2:36PM: Stewart flies out, Rios flies out, Wells is up now. I reckon Eckstein walked earlier on there.

2:37PM: Wells grounds one off Timlin's pitching hand; Cora picks it up and throws Wells out at first. Looks like Timlin broke the hand and he's done for 4-6 weeks. Just a hunch.

2:40PM: John Parrish is your new Blue Jays pitcher. Well, he was new last inning but I missed the boat on that one. Sorry about the poorly-executed Timlin joke. The guy's a real trooper! Sean Casey grounds out to first.

2:43PM: They just played some of Kevin Youkilis' words from his mini-press conference in the clubhouse. He basically pooped out a bunch of cliches, but he gets his point across well and apologizes to the fans. He doesn't place blame on any one party, but chalks the whole problem up to bad communication. David Ortiz walks, gets replaced by a pinch runner who promptly gets picked off. Ellsbury grounds out. End of the sixth.

2:46PM: Manny Delcarmen is your new Red Sox pitcher. He slipped on the mound earlier this spring but his knee is okay now. Marco Scutaro is pinch hitting for Scott Rolen. Thurston moves to center field, replacing Ellsbury. Scutaro singles. I don't know who's in left now, but I'm sure he's quite capable.

2:51PM: Overbay strikes out. You stink, Lyle! Why did Yahoo auto-draft you for my fantasy team? Aaron Hill is up. He flies out. Brandon Moss is your new left fielder. Natale was the gentleman who got picked off earlier. Zaun pops up to Jed Lowrie. Time for the seventh inning stretch!

2:54PM: Your Blue Jays changes: Chip Cannon -> first base, Scutaro -> 2nd base, Sal Fasano -> catcher, Randy Wells -> pitching. Mike Lowell strikes out for the third time today. JD Drew is up and he pops out. Sucker.

2:57PM: Kevin Cash ends the seventh inning and the liveglog with a hard fly out to the warning track. Thanks for joining me today! Enjoy your trans-Pacific flight, Sox!


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50 Comments

Getcha grapefruit ready.

Do I make a breakfast joke? It feels too late in the day for a breakfast joke.

Awww Eckstein flied out? Did he impress the coaches with his hustle down the line? He sure is gritty.

You know, a lot of people think I have a wee eckstein, but the truth is so much larger....

Wait, what are we talking about again?

If this game were a made-for-TV Christmas special, David Eckstein would be the player who saved Christmas.

Youk walks

Copy that, save it, and get ready to use it a lot.

Alex Rios is up and he pops out to second. The Giants were actually going to trade Tim Lincecum to get this chucklehead? Really?

These are the same guys that signed Russ Ortiz to that insane contract, and are currently batting Bengie Molina cleanup. Stupid moves defines Sabean's tenure.

That concert billing is very fitting, given that I think Collective Soul's heyday coincided with Vernon Wells actually earning his contract.

Also, I'm 99% sure Manny is busy packing his grill. "For a friend."

As for the resolution, I heard instead of the Red Sox, MLB plans to send Cheap Trick.

Speaking of concerts is it wrong to really kinda wanna go see Def Leppard, Styx, and REO Speedwagon's combined tour this summer?

It is, isn't it?

@A Pimp Named Daver4470: Depends. Do you kinda really, or really kinda?

No wait, I'm just kidding, that sounds fucking terrible either way.

If the Blue Jays get tired of Zaun they can certainly have Mirabelli, he won't be doing much for the next couple of decades.


And at least you know he never used PEDs

"And at least you know he never used PEDs"

unless you count Sbarros and Kowloons as PEDs...

Next week, the Red Sox are gonna do a walkout during lunch to protest longer class periods.

How is it possible I've never heard of Brian Tallet? He's 30 years old and has pitched 101 major league games, apparently.

Oh, and he has 6 career wins.

Toronto and Boston seem like they are on a tear to finish this game as fast as humanly possible.

I sincerely hope the "boycott" doesn't mean that they're just going to play really, really boring baseball for the rest of the season. There's a reason I cheer for an AL team dammit.

Alright I've decided to stop boycotting this glog.

1:54PM: Julio Lugo strikes out. I'll save that in my auto-text for the rest of the season.

Sometimes he hits into double plays.

Auto-text! THAT'S the joke I was looking for!

Shawn Camp was my other idea for a screen name.

Needs more burgers.

Youkilis homers.

Man there are a lot of Red Sox homers on this liveglog.

WOW OTHER TEAMS, DID YOU JUST SEE HOW AWESOME THAT RELAY WAS? HEY OTHER TEAMS, DID YOU SEE IT WAS STARTED BY COCO CRISP!!1!

THAT GUY IS AWESOME, OTHER TEAMS!

I stopped opening emails from MMP. How many different camera phone angles of someone's taint can you actually see?

Elijah Dukes wants you to know that the possibilities with a good camera phone are infinite, CTC.

I'm going to guess that Cash bunted a ball foul with 2 strikes. it's a refreshing way to be out.

@Dr. Rock

I'm going to say he hit a line drive off of the pitcher's crotch which bounced off and hit him in the basepath

@futuremrsrickankiel

Sean Salisbury would like to know your cell phone number so he can send you a picture of his little friend....

Reed Johnson is a cunt.

does anyone know if Boston is flying Southwest to Japan? I REALLY hope so.

Dave Niehaus would have used the term "nip" at least 4 times by now.

Crisp and Lugo back to back are like getting two of the yellow Starburst in a row.

Disclaimer: I actually like Crisp, but I'm as lost in Ellsbury's dreamy smile as everyone else.

Lugo still sucks though.

This game has more flies than Joba's fat neck at Jacobs -- oh, excuse me, PROGRESSIVE -- field.

Question: when pluralizing the baseball term "fly," do we think it's just "flys"?

Flies

What the fuck is a Thurston?

Thurston - What I say when I need a drink.

Timlin must be sweating through his "Kill Em All & Let God Sort Em Out" undershirt right now.

Ecstein's walk was the result of pure grit. Or 4 bad pitches. But mostly grit.

Timlin broke the hand and he's done for 4-6 weeks

2-4 if he calls some current and former Yankees.

Timlin just doesn't want to fly to Japan. he's faking it.

I hope Sean Casey grows out a huge ass beard and starts looking like Jim James from MMJ.

He basically pooped out a bunch of cliches, but he gets his point across well and apologizes to the fans. He doesn't place blame on any one party, but chalks the whole problem up to bad communication.

Sounds like he has a good future working for the MBTA.

Isn't a pinch runner supposed to know how to like, RUN, without getting picked off?

No shit... Sal Fasano still plays baseball?

The Wikipedia entry on Sal Fasano is one of the greatest things I've ever read... this was my favorite part:

Jeff Pearlman of ESPN.com said of Fasano: "When I think of Sal Fasano, however, I think of greatness. Not of Willie Mays or Ted Williams greatness, but of a uniquely excellent human being who, were class and decency the most valued standards of a career, would be the easiest Hall of Fame inductee of all time."

Sals favorite love song is Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison. He also enjoys music by Arlo Guthrie especially "Alice's Restaurant!"

I'm putting the odds at 97:100 his mom wrote that.

Lyle Overbay would be the first character name I used, if writing the teleplay for a gay soap opera.

JEWS JEWS JEWS!

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