What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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stretcher.JPGWelcome to the final Spring Training Creampuff. If these fragile porcelain mice don't heal up their owwies before the end of the weekend they'll be missing some honest to goodness gametime. So say your prayers and eat your vitamins, you Marys. It's time to go out and work for a living.

Scott Rolen, Blue Jays: After taking a ball off his finger a couple weeks ago, Dr. Self-Destructo intitially looked like he'd be out ten days or so. That's been debunked and now Rolen could be looking at 4-6 weeks on the shelf.

JD Drew, Red Sox: Drew experienced some tightness in his back in Japan. Last season Drew managed to avoid most of the health problems that have plagued him, but word on the street is that his and Josh Beckett's back pain are sexually transmitted. Wrap it up, guys. Drew hopes to be back for Tuesday's game against Oakland.

Jerry Owens, White Sox: Ok... start snapping your fingers with a little swing to it. Then sing it with me like you're an upbeat backup soul singer... "Jerry Owens has a tear in his groin!" It's a painful thing but for some reason the syntax of that sentence makes it kind of funky. He's starting the season on the DL, and if Joe Crede contiues to be an injury magnet after the demotion of Josh Fields... well let's just say things could go south for Ozzie real fast.

Jeremy Hermida, Marlins: Don't try and sing "Hermida pulled a hamstring." It will just make out sound like you're in They Might Be Giants. The move is retroactive so he will miss only a handful of games.

Kelvim Escobar, Angels: In really bad news, Escobar looks to miss the entire season with a labrum tear. You have to hope that's the worst of it. Labrum tears can end careers and Escobar's just now peaking.

Kris Benson, Phillies: Tendinitis in his right bicep has hampered his return from shoulder surgery. He's in the minors where experts say he will soon break his fingers, sprain his wrist, strain his forearm and blowout his elbow.

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Yes, but what of ANNA Benson?!

Just kidding, I'm into dudes...

Crabs give you arthritis. True story.

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