Who Is The Next Coach Of USC Baseball?

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usc girlsThat is my clever way of introducing managers with hot asses... I mean managers on the hot seat. You see, the University of Southern California has two coaches, Pete Carroll and Tim Floyd, who were unequivocal disasters at the pro level but have reached measures of success (great and middling, respectively) at USC. Seems to me it would be a good move for the university to take one of this season's fired MLB mangers to coach the baseball team.

So... who's it going to be? Here's my list of candidates

  • Ozzie Guillen, White Sox: Dios mio. There's a pretty good chance Ozzie will have to buy a ticket to watch the All-Star game. If he does get tossed off the South Side he'd be a perfect fit in Southern California. Just don't take him to West Hollywood.

  • John Gibbons, Blue Jays: Toronto didn't do all that much in the offseason, except trading Glaus for Rolen, which is like trading a grey rock for a black rock. A couple of injuries somewhere in J.P. Ricciardi's Stockpile Of Mediocrity¬© and the Blue Jays could see themselves passed in the standings by the Tampa Rays. If that happens, Gibbons could be canned and do a lot worse than doing a little surfing and eating some In-N-Out Del Taco.

  • Willie Randolph, Mets: It's well documented that the Mets ended last season with a giant sucking sound. Even worse, they didn't seem to care all that much. Not good for the manager. This year this team is the presumptive favorite. These things add up to a short leash for Willie. But hey, why worry about those homos on the 7 train, when you can chill out on the 5 freeway?

Anyone I missed? Leave 'em in the comments.

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Chad Kreuter does not appreciate your posturing.

Dude's given name is Chadden? That is that past tense of "to chad?"

You forgot Tommy Lasorda.

Ron Gardenhire. I'd be interested to see what he can do with the personalities of high paid players.

Mark Prior. He went to SC, and he won't be a professional for much longer.

Dusty Baker - Would love the opportunity to ruin the arms of even younger pitchers.

Tony LaRussa would be more than happy to get wasted at a frat party.

Tim Johnson. He went to USC. In fact, he built it with bare hands. In fact, he built LA with his bare hands.

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