PREVIOUS: Someone's Girlfriend Has Been Reading Too Much Cosmo
NEXT: What, No Love For Hiram Bocachica?
- 12:30, Phillies at Reds: Cole Hamels takes the mound today, guaranteeing we'll get some traffic from Clare. Sweet. For the young and exciting Reds, it's Bronson Arroyo. This guarantees we'll get traffic from people that listen to Nickelback. Sweet.
- 1:30, Cubs at Pirates: Ted Lilly looks to improve on his first start of the season, by not getting the living shit pounded out of him. The 3-3 Pirates look to get above .500 this late in the season for the first time since 1642.
- 3:05, Mariners at Orioles: Carlos Silva eats innings and presumably a metric ton of soft shell crabs as Seattle visits the first place O's. Daniel Cabrera pitches for Baltimore fresh of a disastrous first start. Has a pitcher's season ever been made or broken on his second start of the year? It's a possibility here. He's fragile in the brain.
- 4:05, Twins at White Sox: Blackburn against Vasquez, brought to you as always by Noah's Arcade.
- 4:35, Padres at Giants: Greg Maddux gets the start for the Bros. I know it's an early game but someone make sure he gets his rice pudding. You wouldn't like him when he hasn't had his rice pudding. Matt Cain takes a break from digging a tunnel out of the Giants locker room hidden behind a poster of Carrie Underwood to take the hill.