Here's what happened in baseball before dreams complicated my life:
Brewers 8, Cubs 2: If you followed the liveglog, you know what happened in the first seven innings. Not much changed in the last two: the Cubs couldn't hit much or field very well, Ron Santo kept groaning and sighing, and Jason Kendall kept hitting. Kid went 3-for-4 with two RBI and a stolen base. One thing about Santo as a broadcaster: he sure likes to joke about his diabetes and his amputated legs, which leads me to believe that it's a defense mechanism. Perhaps it's actually worse to root for the Cubs than it is to lose your legs below the knee.
Braves 10, Pirates 2: Rookie Jair Jurrjens pitched a gem in what was a close game until Atlanta unleashed the dragon, or rather a seven-run eighth inning. Mark Teixeira and Yunel Escobar provided the power and commenter Matt_T got a free pack of baseball cards! And free parking! This is what happens when only 17,000 fans show up for a game.
Reds 6. Diamondbacks 5: The boo birds were out in force for Cincy third baseman Edwin Encarnacion in the bottom of the ninth, as he effed up his task of laying down a sacrifice bunt with his team down two runs. Eddy, you tried your hardest and you failed miserably. The moral is: never try. So he stopped trying to bunt and hit a walkoff three-run home run. Hooray! Says teammate Brandon Phillips: "He can't bunt for shit. But he sure can hit." Hey, that's the lyrics of 50 Cent's new hip-hop jam, "Bunt Fo' Shit".
Royals 4, Tigers 0: The Tigers vaunted and much bally-hooed offense runs into the pitching prowess of former Met prospect Brian Bannister. You know what they say about former Met pitching prospects: they go on to perform very well for other teams. Bannister pitched seven innings and gave up but two hits, not bad for some nerd who scored 800 on his math SATs. Bannister's performance was good enough for me to replace him on my HACKING MASS team.
Blue Jays 5, Yankees 2: Let us not speak of this contest.