Baseball Before Bedtime: The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite

| | Comments (7)

Here's what happened in baseball while letting it ring a long long long long time:

Yankees 8, Devil Rays 7: Down 7-2 after a serviceably good start by Yankee rookie Ian Kennedy, Tampa Bay knotted the game at 7 with three seventh inning home runs. Two of the dongs, including Evan Longoria's first career homer, came off Brian Bruney, who received raves in spring training for dropping his pregnancy weight. Sorry, Yankees fans, but expect Bruney to put all 20 pounds back on tonight after drowning his sorrows in Haagen-Dazs. Gallons and gallons of delicious, fattening Haagen-Dazs. The Rays made the game interesting in the seventh but after Robinson Cano's pinch-hit home run put the Yanks up 8-7, closer Mariano Rivera found a way of making the game very, very boring, earning his first four-out save of the season.

Tigers 11, Twins 9: Detroit's offense got off the schneid in a big way, scoring all 11 of their runs after the start of the sixth inning against the Twins. Crappy pitcher and even crappier blogger Pat Neshek took the blown save and the loss, coming into the game in the 8th with a two-run lead and giving up a 2 RBI triple to Ivan Rodriguez, an RBI sac fly to Jacque Jones, a Clete Thomas triple, and a Placido Polanco RBI single. Whew! Tigers starter Jeremy Bonderman did himself no favors, allowing seven runs (four earned) in 6 and 1/3 innings. When asked his reaction about his team's first home win of the year, Detroit manager Jim Leyland simply replied "Aw shit, I don't have time for this."

Orioles 4, Blue Jays 3: Creed fan Kevin Millar led the (first place?!?) Orioles with 3 RBI as Baltimore beat Toronto despite Alex Rios' two-run dong off closer George Sherrill in the ninth. The O's collected 13 hits in the game and ran amok on the basepaths, swiping four bases off Blue Jays' catcher-cum-movie critic Gregg Zaun. Just 11,510 spectators were on hand at Oriole Park to see a game that featured six double plays. I'm falling asleep writing about this wonder only 11,000 fans showed up. Care!

Athletics 2, White Sox 1: Ozzie Guillen continues to get quality starts from his pitching staff but couldn't keep his lineup scoring runs as Chicago managed but one run in seven innings off somebody named Greg Smith. White Sox starter Mark Buehrle had his second straight quality start after stinking it up on Opening Day, but his team simply refused to support him. Maybe it's time to stop playing the theremin in the clubhouse, Mark. Former Royal star and Billy Beane's latest pickup from the discount bin Mike Sweeney reached base twice and scored both runs.

PREVIOUS: Tonight's Questions   |   NEXT: Randy Johnson Returns; I'm Not Using His Nickname


Happy Tax Day! Let's see, what'd I get, what'd I get... From: Joe Borowski.... ooooh, I can't wait... It's an Undeserved 'W'!!!! Aww, Joe, ole buddy ole pal!!! Gift wrapped and everything!

Holy crap, Nate McLouth did it again.

You know, I ALMOST changed my name to futuremrsevanlongoria at the start of Spring Training, and everyone was all, "You know, he's starting the season in AAA." NOW IT'S TOO LATE.

Just kidding. *~*rIcK 4Eva*~*

Also, I have a little party every time you use the word "dong." The 5th grader in me simply can't get enough of it.

Also, the 23-year-old in me is horrified at the thought that my 5th-grade self can't get enough dong. Kids today, I tell ya.

You ate a fifth grader?

No I think she's saying that she ate mad dong when she was in 5th grade.

mad dong? I don't see it on my menu. Is that in column A or B?
not that, you know, I want it.

Leave a comment