Baseball is the kind of sport where the only guarantee is that there are no guarantees. The only people who can be prophetic are those who make no prophecies. Predictions always prove to be predictably wrong. And people like me tend to shit out a bunch of clichés to explain why much-derided cleanup hitter Bengie Molina hit two home runs last night to lead the Giants over the Padres.
Molina's first home run came off Randy Wolf in the second inning. After hanging on to a 2-1 lead for starter Tim Lincecum, Giants closer Brian Wilson blew the save and sent the game into extra innings. Our boy Bengie ended the game in the 11th with a walkoff homer off Cla (his name is not Clay, San Francisco Chronicle) Meredith.
We've had a couple of LOLs on this website at Bengie's expense already, but if he continues to knock those dingers, we'll have to print all sorts of retractions. Kid's got three home runs already on the season, more than Ryan Howard, Prince Fielder, Barry Bonds, Stan Musial, Jack Kerouac and Santa Claus combined. The rest of his own team has combined for exactly one home run (Ray Durham). Molina has seven RBI on a team that has scored only 19 runs in their first seven games. I stand by my prediction that the Giants' offense will be about as effective as a window-sized air conditioner in hell; perhaps, however, the eldest Molina brother isn't the worst cleanup hitter ever. (Read item #2)