Billy Beane Seeks Inefficiencies in the Market, Fat Old Dudes

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Frank Thomas needs work and he's getting offers from his old employers. The Oakland Athletics are said to have offered the Big Hurt a roster spot but Thomas is still fielding offers from other teams. Oh no, Frank Thomas fielding? Those offers are gonna go right through his enormous wickets! Says Yahoo! Sports' Tim Brown:

    Frank Thomas was close to signing with the Oakland A's on Wednesday until another team made an offer at the last minute, according to a baseball source. The second offer, from an undisclosed team, at least temporarily put the brakes on the A's deal.

Thomas would be a great fit with the A's. They've hit but nine home runs as a team so far and have got a slugging percentage lower than a team made up of hausfraus and little girls. Designated hitter-slash-outfielder Jack Cust's SLG has been cut in half since last year and his strikeout rate would make Rob Deer gasp. Their other DH, former Royal Mike Sweeney, has battled a bad back all season (heck, more like all career) so Thomas would give the A's some extra pop for a super low discount price.

So let's do some quick speculation? Who's the other team to make an offer to Thomas? Seattle? Tampa? Toron...oh, nevermind. J.P. Ricciardi would never be that smart.

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It's The Joliet Jackhammers Look out Northern League!

Johan Santana is out-slugging the entire A's team. His .462 SLG is higher than the highest A, Bobby Crosby (.448).

Yes Rob, but he still gets booed because he is not a "true Met".

but..but the A's are 13-9! How could they be winning with such crappy stats?!?!!11
heart, I tell ya. show me the stats on heart!
adding the Big Hurt will just pad that heart stat!

I read that as "Thomas would give the A's some extra poop for a super low discount price." I just thought you were making another old man joke.

Thomas' poop doesn't come cheap. I learned that the hard way on eBay last year.

Only thing Thomas' poop is good for is clogging toilets.

-D Baker

Hiya folks. Better the Big Hurt than the Big Head.

Oh man... afternoon Sox game today! Sucks I can't watch it. If only someone would do something like listen to the game for me, then type up concise, pithy summaries of key moments in the action and post them online for my enjoyment. Maybe they could make a joke or two in there... perhaps about hamburgers?

Mmm, that would be nice.

Thomas' Poop has nooks and crannies.

Billy Beane, I think I've heard of him, didn't he write Moneyball

+ a very disgusting 1, Jiegel

I thought Thomas' poop had electrolytes?

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