Christ Returns To Denver: Rockies Home Opener

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baseball jesus.jpgThe defending NL Champs open at home today against fellow western expansionists and vanquished '07 NLCS opponent, the Arizona Diamondbacks. To commemorate the day, those cock gobblers at the Denver Post bring us another stupid headline: "Rox-citement to roar at sold-out Coors"

That's Roxtarded.

And for all of you with Rox in your head, don't miss the pregame concert with Opie Gone Bad and the Groove Hawgs, from 11 a.m. to 1:15 p.m; 21st and Blake streets! Hoo whee! Here's Opie's myspace page. Gone bad, indeed. Ernest T. Bass would be so proud.

Anyway, Mark Redman is on the hill for the hometown team, and pitcher/slugger Micah Owings starts for the D'Backs. Enjoy, all you Rocksuckers!

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Hotlinking error! PWN3D!@!!

Also, praise be to the lord and savior Troy Tulowitzki...alleluia alleluia!

Did the Rockies ever actually get "Rocktober" trademarked? I thought it was hilarious that they tried to trademark a phrase that had been used by 3,582 radio stations every year since Marconi tuned his first dial.

In fact, I think Marconi did a Rocktober sticker stop in Bologna in 1910.

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