Corey Patterson Watch: Game Twenty

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The Cincinnati Reds are still treading water in the tough NL Central; they sit in fourth place at 8-12 having lost series to the Cubs and Brewers last week. Our friend Corey Patterson is doing much worse, having gone hitless since our last update. Let's go game-by-game and see what's what:

Game 14: Led off, 0-for-4 with a strikeout.

Game 15: Led off, 0-for-4 with a walk.

Game 16: Didn't start against lefty Ted Lilly, popped out while pinch-hitting.

Game 17: Didn't start against righty Ben Sheets, pinch hit in the eighth inning and flied out with the bases loaded.

Game 18: Led off, 0-for-4.

Game 19: Led off, 0-for-3 with two walks and a strikeout.

Game 20: Didn't start against righty Brad Penny, grounded out while pinch-hitting.

Damn, he's not even starting against certain right-handed pitching now. Patterson went 0-for-17 with three walks on the week; this drops his OBP to .254. His once mighty .703 slugging percentage is now down to .467, still the fifth best among NL center fielders. Dusty, if you are going to start him (and I still think he should be playing most days), MOVE HIM DOWN IN THE LINEUP!

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Meanwhile in my Pat Patterson watch: Still gay.

Didn't start against lefty Ted Lilly

Nice show of confidence there, Dusty.

In my Ray Patterson watch: still not coming back as sanitation commissioner of Springfield.

In my Pat Robertson watch: He's now appearing in a commercial w/ Martin Lawrence where he encourages us to recycle. Or something.

O, an he still religous.

Somehow I feel guilty about his inability to hit. All we heard about Corey was he was a 5 tool guy and then they trotted him out at Wrigley and things went wrong. He was booed so badly I think we wrecked his head. That and he never takes pitches. But I still feel guilty.

In my Paterson, NJ watch: Yup, it still smells and is full of hookers!

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