Create a Clever Name for the Giants Rotation

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The Giants and the Padres played the game of the night, with San Francisco prevailing 1-0 behind starter Tim Lincecum's 6 and 1/3 innings of shutout pitching skills. Five-foot-ten Lincecum and six-foot-ten Diamondbacks Padres (I didn't have my coffee yet) starter Chris Young were locking antlers for most of the game until 36-year-old Rich Aurilia hit a solo ding dong that determined the margin of victory, thrusting San Diego into sole possession of last place. Closer Brian Wilson pitched the ninth and collected his seventh save.

With eleven gentlemen left on base, the Padres certainly had their opportunities to score in this game. Tim Lincecum was able to weasel out of bad situations (he walked five!) with his magic. Either that or his 98-MPH fastball: Padre first baseman and slugger extraordinaire Adrian Gonzalez struck out thrice against Lincecum, who had nine K's in the game.

Lincecum now has a 16 and 1/3 inning scoreless streak and leads the majors with 36 strikeouts. He's got 4 wins even though he and the rest of the lineup have only cobbled together sixteen runs in his five starts. They've been well-distributed though because the Giants have won all five of those games. Let's review: they're 5-0 in Lincecum's starts and 5-13 with the rest of those chuckleheads on the mound. In the spirit of "Ian Snell and Four Days of Hell" or "Spahn and Sain and pray for rain", the Giants need a clever saying to describe how outstanding Tim Lincecum is and how awful the rest of the rotation has been. Commenters, participate! What should be this clever saying?


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28 Comments

"The Franchise" and 4 Shitty Guys

...sweetest nickname ever.

Also, as long as we're doing this, I'd like to lobby to refer to the Texas pitching staff in its entirety as "The Aristocrats" for the rest of the season.

Lincecum and Lick Some Come?

I'd rather come up with a nickname for the Padres' lineup. Like, "Big Fat Disgusting Fucking Black Hole of Shittiness" or something.

Tims and Losses.

Lincecum and 4 dumb-dumbs

Timmy L then run like hell.

or

Timmy L and help'd be swell.

Hey Sh!tShow. You're kinda funny. You should write for a blog!

Lincecum and enjoy the sun (meh)
or
Shorty and the 4 Losers

Lincecum and Lynch The Rest

struck out thrice? I wasn't told Weintraub would be here. Can I have my money back?

Howzabout "Tim and the Chipmunks"?

You know what futuremrs? I might just do that.

How about - Lince-cum on Zito, snap out of it! Meh.

Side note, you said "thrusting dong." Heh.

Commenters, participate!

Uh OH! CTC must be doing real people stuff today!

Timbuktu and 4 Buck Chuck

Timbaland and Magoo

Lincecum and 4 jizz moppers

If by "real people things" you mean "buying new buttons for his little hat so he looks cool."

Lincecum or you better score some run.

What? It's kinda like "Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack."

Lincecum and 4 bums
Tiny Tim and the Sucktastic 4
Baby Face and pray for Earthquakes

The Cleveland Cavaliers

Lincecum y Ponces de Leon.

(Ponce, you'll recall, was a big ol' loser for never finding the Fountain of Youth.)

Timmmay! and 4 other handicaps

Shorty and the Suckfest

Matt Cain is flipping everybody off with all his might right now.

And in the 4 seconds it took to flip us off the Giants grounded into a double play and popped out to the catcher.

Cain you cook me some Ziti? At Lincecum into the kitchen for some Correian food.

ugh that was as painful to write as it was for you to read.

Jesus, Jiegel...did you strain your anterior punnal flexus writing that one?

Rob, I tried to include Sanchez but i almost passed out.

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