Gabe Kapler is Big Pimpin', has Little Ouchie

| | Comments (6)

With four home runs and two doubles in just 26 at-bats this season, Brewers centerfielder Gabe Kapler is off to a shocking .962 slugging percentage. Not bad for someone who was managing single-A ball last season. Still, he's only got a platoon job once regular centerfielder Mike Cameron comes back from his suspension, and even worse, he's hurt.

Kapler bruised his right shoulder before the Brewers' game on Tuesday and has missed the past two games. He's day-to-day but Milwaukee's other centerfielder named Gabe (Gross) has been a sorry replacement, going 1-for-7 with three strikeouts in the two games.

How exactly did Gabe hurt himself? I'll let manager Ned Yost explain, via Cardinals blogger Derrick Goold:

POWER SHAGGING (tr. v.) - To power shag is to track fly balls during batting practice as if they were fly balls in games, i.e. running after line drives and scaling walls to prepare for game-like situations. I.e., Kapler was power shagging when he raced to catch a fly ball in BP and knocked his shoulder into the wall. "What makes Gabe Kapler so good is he doesn't differentiate between the game and practice," Yost said. "He shags BP balls as if they were the game. And that's how you stay on top of your game."

I would have thought 'power shagging' meant something entirely different. Oh well. Gabe, you're a boob for slamming into the wall during batting practice.

PREVIOUS: Baseball Before Bedtime: My Ride's Here   |   NEXT: What's Eating C.C. Sabathia? What's C.C. Sabathia Eating?


[i]"What makes Gabe Kapler so good is he doesn't differentiate between the game and practice,"[/i]

Kapler is a team favorite at the batting cages, as he only gets one cut during BP, insisting on running every ball out. It really gets awkward when he tries to steal second on 53-year old BP hurler Bill Castro, as he is usually picked off.

Hey, look! Shitty HTML!

power... shagging... boob... slamming...

Sigh. It's not even fun when you make it so easy. I need the thrill of the chase, dude!

In other news, Gabe Kapler has a furry fetish.

I think Gabe is a gross name as well.

I take it that's Rob's PG version of "shag.jpg."

Leave a comment