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- 12:40 Mariners at Rays: Miguel Batista takes the alto sax out of his gaping maw and will try and help Seattle win their third straight. Edwin Jackson is on the mound for the Rays. Jackson threw 6 innings of 1 hit ball against the Yankees in his first start. The Rays are already banged up. Newly acquired pitcher Matt Garza is on the DL and was followed there yesterday by Cliff Floyd. Ol' Cliffy gets jealous when people get to sit out and he doesn't.
- 1:05, Reds at Brewers: Aaron Harang looks like a friendlier version of the Undertaker. Or a half man/half basset hound. Either way, he's pitching pretty well and will take on Carlos Villanueva. Cincinnati exploded for 12 runs last night, and there are pieces of people everywhere. It's really gory and I think I'm probably going to hurl.
- 5:05, Orioles at Rangers: I'm making an executive decision to call 5:05 the afternoon. It's well before I'd eat dinner, and at this time of year it's still really light out. If you disagree with my decision please email Jesus (xoSonOfGodxo@aol.com) and tell him to stop making the spring so goddamn beautiful. Last night's game was rained out so this is the first of two, with Adam Loewen taking on Kason Gabbard. Don't email Jesus asking him how the Orioles are 6-1. He has no idea either.