Jim Leyland Berates Tigers Team; I Can Relate. Seriously.

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leylandhat.jpgThe headline of this ESPN article, "Leyland takes woeful Tigers to task after fourth shutout of young season" is a tad misleading. He certainly admits his frustration with the team, but by his foul mouthed, shitty casino dealer looking standards it was quite tame.

"There was one thing that sticks out to me right now that's going on, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back," Leyland said after Sunday's 11-0 loss to the White Sox, without revealing the issue.

"Where we're at makes sense because that's the way we've played," Leyland said. "It's not surprising that we're 2-10. We've been shut out four times. ... I didn't think we'd get shut out four times all year, to be honest with you."
See that's actually quite level headed for the miserable old leatherface. That wasn't him taking anyone to task. Both of our regular readers may have noticed that I have a certain measure of animosity for Leyland and that's because, well, I've been screamed at by Jim Leyland. Allow me to set the scene...

It's May of 1999, the baseball season is about 6 weeks in. I am a high school junior and sportswriter for the school paper. Me and a bunch of other high school sports journalists from South Florida are invited to the Marlins High School Media Day. I could not have been more excited. I pulled my rusty, A/C-less '86 Ponitac Grand AM into the press parking lot (!!!) and headed for the press box where the day was to begin.

As a history refresher, the Marlins had won the World Series in 1997 and gone through the first of their fire sales. The team totally sucked and attendance was accordingly bleak. Sound familiar? We got to interview some players (not in the locker rooms, thank god). Kids were lobbing softball questions and then I asked Kevin Millar if it was hard to get excited to play a game against the Expos when there were 1000 fans there. He muttered something about being a professional then another kid asked him what CDs he listens to.

So anyway, after our tour of the inside of the park, we got to go stand on the field and watch batting practice. They were playing the Rockies, coincidentally managed by Jim Leyland in his first year since leaving the Marlins. I got to stand with Dante Bichette and Todd Helton and talk to them a little bit. For a 17 year old, it was about as kickass as it sounds. After talking to Bichette I wanted to write some stuff down but realized I had left my notebook in the press room (this is a recurring theme in my life). I rushed off the field through the tunnel to grab the notebook before someone threw it out.

At the first blind corner in the tunnel, I see a flash of purple and feel a dull thud against my chest and midsection. I looked down to see an angry and cursing Jim Leyland.

"Why don't you watch where you're going you stupid little piece of shit! What the hell are they letting you around here for anyway?"

The site of a diminutive and livid Jim Leyland caused me to start giggling. I wanted to apologize, but couldn't. I kept laughing. This angered ol' Amberteeth even more.

His voice rose in volume and echoed through the tunnel. "You think it's fucking funny, asshole? How about I have you tossed out of here? Aw shit, I don't have time for this."

He stormed off to the field, I finally stopped giggling and retrieved my notebook.

THAT is what it's like getting "taken to task" by Jim Leyland, ESPN. It's louder, more profane and reeks of coffeebreath and cigarettes.

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I fully expect that story to turn up in an AJ Daulerio Deadspin feature which name I cannot remember b/c it usually sucks.

Actually, just the part about Kevin Millar would be good enough.

BTW, Kevin Millar's answer to the CD question was something like "Metallica and Creed. Sometimes U2 if want to chill."

It was when I began to realize that all baseball players have generically awful taste in everything.

Out-fucking-standing.I figured he'd say something like "I take shits bigger'n you."

I would have bet a lot on something by Toby Keith.

I don't believe this story and we cannot print it until we get confirmation from Jim Leyland himself.

-Ben Fong-Torres

I can't believe there is a Ben Fong-Torres reference.

An interesting concept overall, but the lack of a compelling central character renders an already flimsy plotline ultimately unfulfilling. 2 1/2 stars.

BTW, that is one helluva hat.

You graduated high school in 2001?


That's makes you like 19 or something.

/hangs self for feeling so old


I meant 2000...

It's okay Honeynut, I'm actually 58.

"Flash of purple?"

Last time I saw a "flash of purple" was when viewing Kim Kardashian's home movie. Those labia be seriously worked over.

(this is a recurring theme in my life)

No shit.

My memory isn't good enough to remember a funny CTC hyjinx about how bad his memory is.

He's not lyin kids

"Aw shit, I don't have time for this"

Is Leyland really Nick Saban?

Should I start referring to him as Manager Jim Leyland (MJL)?

that story never gets old....
F Leyland!

Holy shit that's awesome.

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