Jorge Cantu Allegedly Batting 1.000 With the Ladies

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Our favorite sassy senior Jorge Cantu is out of the pool and into hot water. Seems as if some comely young St. Petersburg lass is accusing Cantu of smacking her around:

    "According to the St. Petersburg Times, Cantu has a Wednesday court date in Pinellas County stemming from a temporary protection order filed against him earlier this week. St. Petersburg resident NAME REDACTED alleged she sustained bruises to her left biceps and was verbally threatened Feb. 8."

Cantu denies everything, or at least Cantu's agent denies everything on behalf of his client. You know, these accusations have to be false, because sports agents never lie and/or fabricate the truth to protect his client's interests.

Things couldn't possibly get any worse for Jorge Cantu. It's hard enough having to replace Miguel Cabrera at the hot corner for the Florida Marlins, but now he has to deal with this legal mess? Feh! Because the next best third baseman on the roster is named Wes Helms, expect Cantu to not miss any time.

(we owe a Coke to FishChunks)

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When did Lou get his own county?

I'd hit it. Jorge, I mean. With a Louisville Slugger.

Cantu is Spanish for "Can you?"

In response to this story, Julio Lugo went 5-for-5 today. He got four hits in four at-bats and then beat the shit out of a ballgirl.

When Miguel Cabrera plays third, it isn't "the hot corner," it's "the hot, buttered corner."

I don't know what the crime is here.

The thing is, Cantu only hits about 26% of the women that he swings at. BECAUSE HE'S NOT A GOOD HITTER.


3 hours later, and I just got your joke.

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