Jose Valverde Honors Brad Lidge With A Lidgesque Performance

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In Philadelphia last night, Shawn Chacon of the Houston Astros pitched a goddamned gem, hurling eight scoreless innings in which he allowed but 6 Phillies to reach base and struck out the mighty Pat Burrell twice. New Astros closer Jose Valverde was called on by manager Cecil Cooper to protect a 3-0 lead in the ninth inning, and that's where it all went to poo:

    Pinch-hitter Chris Snelling hit a leadoff homer in the ninth off Valverde, and Chase Utley was hit by a pitch. After Ryan Howard struck out, Pat Burrell tied the score at 3 with a two-run homer to right. (Geoff) Jenkins struck out, but the ball eluded catcher Brad Ausmus for a passed ball and Jenkins scampered safely to first before (Pedro) Feliz ripped a shot into the left-field corner. Jenkins slid home with the winning run just ahead of the tag.

Geoff Jenkins ran through the stop sign at third base on his way to scoring the winning run. In Philadelphia, this is called "defensive driving". Third base coach Steve Smith tried to hold Jenkins at third because there was just one out. In baseball, this is called "a smart move". Jenkins isn't Don-Mattingly-slow but he's not exactly fleet-of-foot either. Still, he scored because home plate ump Bill Miller made a bad call, so he's the Philadelphia hero of the day. Tony Luke gave him a free roast pork Italian after the game.

Luckily for the Phillies, it was a home game. Feliz' hit was a walkoff double which means they didn't need to bring in their own crappy closer, Brad Lidge. Lidge visited with his former Astro teammates before the game; this must have been when he infected them with his loserjuice. HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS, ASTROS FANS

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This bad relief work has really aged Barbara Bush.

I like my loser juice on the rocks

Thank you, Cholly, for not pulling Pat the Bat for a defensive replacement in the seventh. Pat seems to be the only Phillie who realizes right now that April counts, too.

Watching this game on the glorious non-HD CN8, they only showed the "bad" angle (the one where Jenkins was out) once, and then kept going to the other 36 angles for their replays. They were worried the Phils would get jobbed like the Sixers did on Monday.

Clare, I'm sure you know the Babe only gets defensively replaced when the Phillies have the lead.

Yes, it was a bad call. But Philly was due. 4 bad calls in the past week, we deserved it.
(Ausmus never even hinted an argument. perhaps he was really safe?)

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