Late Shift Liveblog

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jennylewis.jpgSo I was supposed to write a preview of tonight's games but I went out for sushi and had some drinks instead. I have returned to find a free MLB Extra Innings Preview on my television! Here is a running log of what I saw with no promise of continuity or resolution.

9:45: Bert Blyleven says that the Twins have the best bullpen in baseball.

9:48 After 3 minutes I disagree with Bert Blyleven and the following conversation occurs between me and my friend Jeremy:

Jeremy: yeah...that is a lofty statement, BUT
if crain gets back to where he was two years ago
crain/neshek/nathan would be pretty devastating

me: neshek is a vegan baseball card collector
and nathan is a free agent after this year
(Ed. Note: Apparently being a baseball blogger was not enough to alert me to the fact that Twins resigned Nathan to a 4 yr, $47M deal last week.)
ie: he'll prolly get traded

Jeremy: if the twins are competing for the central they will not trade joe nathan

me: yeah and if I start sleeping with Jenny Lewis i'll dump my girlfriend
there's no way they compete in the cenral

Jeremy: great point
you should definitely try to sleep with jenny lewis

me: definitely

10:13 It's 2-2 in the top of the 9th. Kevin Gregg just walked Beltran with two outs, and on the second game of the season, Dolphins stadium sounds like a library. I still have a hard time believing a new statdium will right all of the problems with this franchise.

11:05: Back after tons of technical difficulties. The Marlins won in extras after a walkoff from Robert Andino. Dude got a pie in the face during the postgame interview while I was watching live. Love when that happens.

11:11: The Red Sox are on, and I've been flipping back, but I love Vin Scully and am unashamedly watching the Dodgers. It's 0-0, Cain against Lowe, both cruising and Vin's dulcet tones are uninterrupted by any moron ex jock color guy. Televised baseball bliss.

11:18: Milton Bradley is up and after a Felix Hernandez ball the camera pans to the two most freezing Asian people I've ever seen. They look like they're being thawed out. The roof is closing.

Red Sox/A's
11:23 I just missed Ellsbury's first RBI of the year. Two on, two out for Pedroia. He walks. Bases juiced.

11:27: Ortiz grounds out. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS CLUTCH.

11:28: Still 0-0 in the fifth, but more importantly, the Dodgers have a deal where if you buy two season tickets you get two free. That is stellar. I should move to a town where yo can actually get tickets to a game.

11:31: Cain retires the side.

Red Sox/A's<
11:33: Remy and Orsillo are talking about Red Sox beat writer Gordon Edes. When we were trying to figure out the name of this blog, I emailed him to find out if he uses "walk off" or "walkoff." He said "walkoff" so uh.. there you go.

11:35 Matsuzaka strikes out Hannahan, a name that makes me instantly tired. Matsuzaka looks good tonight.

Falling Asleep On The Couch
11:39: I am floating above some sort of convention. There are all kinds of different booths, tables and displays. I am trying to make out what kind of convention it is but I am unable. I am concentrating so hard I don't even notice the giant spinning fan blades feet ffrom my head. I scream and shield myself but i go right through. Suddenly I am talking to my father, but he's not really my father, he's a cactus. We're at the Beach House show I went to last night.

11:46: Cain has two down with runner on first on third. Vin Scully wonders if Cain has "any petrol left in the tank" then goes on to discuss how putrid the Giants bullpen was in Cain starts last year. On cue, Bochy leaves him in.

11:49: Larry Bowa just got into a fight out of nowhere with the third base ump. He is going ABSOLUTELY APESHIT and has to be restrained by Joe Torre. Replays show that Ed Montague told him to get in the coaches box and Bowa lost his shit. I can't be sure but I think I saw Montague say, "Nice helmet, faggot." That whole thing was nuts.

11:54: Cain walks the bases loaded. I'm going to format this post and call it a night. Thanks, Kirin Ichiban!

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nathan is a free agent after this year ie: he'll prolly get traded

The Twins signed Nathan to a 4 year deal last week. Good luck with Jenny, though.


I'd like to give Jenny Lewis a pie in the face.

on a side note, I was friends in college with one Danielle Crain, sister of the Twins reliever in question. I had a nearly simultaneous conversation with a not-so studious friend of mine from college, who apparently thought that our friend's brother was not Jesse Crain, but actually Joe Nathan.

since we're quoting GChat conversations...

me: that hot chick danielle's brother was just pitching for the twins

Bryan: i just checked the twins box score... although i thought her brother was nathan
9:56 PM
me: joe nathan?
you thought her brother was joe nathan?
Bryan: yeah
i thought her brother was a stud
is it bonser or crain?
me: jesse crain
9:57 PM
Bryan: i had no idea what her last name was
assumed it was nathan
me: check out his stats
dude joe nathan is the best closer in baseball
that would be crazy if we knew joe nathan's sister
Bryan: i know- i thought we did
Bryan: i should probably be a professional baseball player when i grow up
(Bryan is turning 26 this year...)

I loved her in The Wizard.

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