Newspaper Editors Take Out Sexual Frustrations On Local Trees

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In the following video, a bunch of dipshit editors from a newspaper called the Standard-Times (which covers something called the SouthCoast of Massachusetts; never heard of it) try and break a baseball bat. The crumb covered hosers attempt to do so by whacking the hell out of a tree. This is possibly the most boring 3 minutes of video in history, but I'm still kind of pissed they beat up a tree.

Hey kids, what's a better way to break a bat? I have no problem with human violence.

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I have no idea how to break a bat, but I'm going to try and find out by BEATING ALL THOSE GENTLEMAN WITH A LOUISVILLE SLUGGER.

[SFX: Geto Boys' "Still"]

Find some way to surgically graft said bat onto Mark Prior's body; that shit won't last 5 minutes.

Let George Bush make it a free and liberated baseball bat.

I would like to see the tree grow arms and break the bats over the heads of those doofus editors. I am just so angry.

Someone send Delmon Young after these clowns

Those guys are clinically fucking retarded.

Tell Paul Loduca that the bat is a 16-year-old girl's hymen.

Replace telephone pole in front of Billy Joel's house with the bat.

Tell Suss that the bat is a neat new HTML trick he can try out in the comment box at Deadspin.

Tell Johnny Pesky that the bat is a 16-year-old girl's hymen.

Tell Dusty Baker that the bat is the hope and spirit of the fans of whatever team he's coaching.

The threadjack you've been waiting your whole life to read:


Let the baseball bat run a major metropolitan newspaper.

+1 Honeynut

I honestly don't remember this scene from office space.

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