Oh Christ, The Burgers Are Back

| | Comments (9)
ihascheezburger1.jpgImagine my horror when I opened up my Google Reader this morning to find the normally funny and reliable Sam Mellinger talking about In-n-fucking-Out Burger. Well, indirectly. The object of Sam's affection today was actually Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I've never heard of the damn place but Sammy likes em so much, he interviewed a damn franchisee. That didn't stop him from expounding on the hallowed burger joint of choice for baseball writers all across this great land:

In-N-Out will never expand to Kansas City, so the comparisons are irrelevant, but they're also unavoidable because they are the only ones playing in the elite burger-and-fry league. Please don't mention Winstead's. I love Winstead's, but that place is now Outback to Five Guys' Plaza III (at Wendy's prices).

Anyway, the fries are great. WAY better than In-N-Out, not even close. Thick, hot, got a lot of flavor. I prefer a waffle fry, but these get it done.

The main event, the burger, is worth the trip and then some. Big, perfectly messy, not too much bun, and cooked with everything on it you want.

Honestly, I still have it a very close second place to In-N-Out, but it's incredibly close, and I can see where reasonable people would disagree on it.

Fine. FINE! I quit. I concede. Baseball bloggers are obsessed with In-N-Out to the point where they sound so knowledgeable about it, it begins to overshadow their writing on baseball. Not only do I concede this point, but I'm going back into my blogoratory and figuring out a way to give you hungry saturated fat obsessed masses the food coverage you crave. Burger coverage is coming to WoW. You'd have to be an idiot to ignore this trend.

PREVIOUS: Showing Kai How To Throw A Hatchet: Today's Afternoon Games   |   NEXT: The Wil Cordero Memorial Linkpunch, Tuesday, April 22nd


I had Five Guys for lunch today.

And boy, my mouth, hands, and asshole are tired!

This trend really has to go back to Peter King and his regular 5,000 word lead-in concerning Starbucks.


I can has baykin?

"Thick, hot, got a lot of flavor."

Um. My head just actually exploded at the sheer force of the highly concentrated sexual innuendo in that sentence. It's like a Slushee if you forgot to add the ice.


Needs more nachos.

Great. Now I'm starving...

CTC and Rob go to White Castle.

If Mellinger was wrong, I'd tear into him for this nonsense. But he's right. So entirely, completely, deliciously right.

I grew up in Alexandria, VA, home of Five Guys yet I only just found out about the national franchising...on this here blog! Thanks Wow.

And it is with great pleasure that I can announce that WoW is hereby nominated for the Freetzy Prize for Fast Food Service "Journalism" Blogging (aka "The Servies").

Leave a comment