The Sunday Morning Post

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televangelist2.jpg Hey kids, here's what happened last night with the wolves at the door:

  • Brewers 4, Marlins 3: Prince Fielder scored on a suicide squeeze (!) then hit a go ahead solo ding dong in the bottom of the eighth to give the Brewers the dramatic win at home. Eric Gagne held the lead (!!) for his seventh (?) save(.)

  • Rays 2, Red Sox 1: The Rays revolution will be televised. For two nights in a row against Boston, apparently. Edwin Jackson held the Sox to one run in 7 IP but his counterpart, Clay Buchholz did even better, holding the Rays scoreless through his 7 IP. Unfotunately, Buchholz pitched 8, with the last frame including a two run bomb to Aki Iwomura that just about hit the back wall of the Trop.

  • Dodgers 11, Rockies 3: The Dodgers scored ten runs in the first inning, then Brad Penny cruised through 7 scattering 4 hits and sending one umpire to the hospital. Home plate ump, Kerwin Danley took a 96 MPH hard one to the kisser and got knocked out and carried off the field on a stretcher. Word is, he'll be ok. The prognosis is not so good for the Rockies.


James Shields and the Rays go for the sweep against Josh Beckett and the Red Sox... It's Wang vs. Sabathia in Cleveland as the Indians try and break out the brooms... Struggling Ted Lilly (back up, bitch) is on the mound for the Cubs in Washington...Jon Miller and Joe Morgan take us through tonight's Angels/Tigers tilt. The game is in Detroit, so you know Miller's Hispanic pronunciation won't be the only thing en fuego.

What'd I miss? Lemme know down below.

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You missed Coachella. Otherwise, good job.

Camp Tiger Claw shows his ass at the beach.

I tried watching Portishead from Coachella last night. I made it 3 minutes.

Blech... between Brad Penny, Eric Gagne, and Jiegel's comment, this might be the most unattractive post ever.

You wanna talk unattractive? Let's talk about Scarlett Johannsen's Tom Waits covers record. Cause that shit makes that bitch way less hot. I'm drunk. But still, she's fucking annoying.

I am on record as a fully heterosexual male, saying that Scarlett Johannsen is not attractive. She look to me like a pasty, slightly chubby down-syndrome lady.

I would rather bone Barry Zito's ERA right now than her.

Weaver looks untouchable.

What'd I miss? Lemme know down below.

I haven't been to a strip club since thursday. I DESERVE THE SHRIMP.

I wouldn't touch Weaver


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