Walkoff Walk Crimestopper Private Eye Detective Club #3: All I Know Is That I Don't Know

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lloyd.jpgIn my quest to bring Graeme Lloyd to justice, I've been trying to keep my finger on the pulse of "people getting smacked in the head with baseball bats." But you would not believe how much of this is going on around the world. These are all from THIS WEEK:

  • This lady smacked some dude on the melon in England.

  • This guy chased out a guest by swinging a Louisville Slugger at him. Hey buddy, ever heard of HOSPITALITY??

  • Some crazy dame in Buffalo randomly popped some poor lady right in the grill.

  • Two dudes in Oregon got their brain boxes dinged up by home invaders. The article calls this a case of mistaken identity. "Oops. We meant to put two other guys in the horsepistol. Do over?"

  • Also in Oregon, this guy played pepper with a homeless gent for walking into his apartment complex laundry room.

  • Finally, in Canada someone's dad got probation for swinging the old hickory stick in a coffee shop parking lot fracas. There's no way I can make that sentence funnier.

As an honest crimefighter I can only concede that this is far too widespread to be the work of a single retired relief pitcher. Perhaps my initial conclusion that bat attacks are being perpetrated by an Australia based religious sect assoiciated with Graeme Lloyd (and to an extent Dave Nillsson) was incorrect. Either that or it's just the tip of the iceberg. In any case, I have no choice but to turn the focus off of Graeme Lloyd.

You're off the hook, Lloyd.... for now.

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That's just what he WANTS you to think, you fool!

... And that's fine.

Thanks CTC, Op Ivy will now be in my head for the rest of the day.

I still blame Craig Shipley.

I had no idea David Feherety once pitched for the Jays.


Golf clap.

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