Weekend of Winners: Sweep Stakes

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Five Six teams swept their opponents this weekend which establishes a new record: the most weekend series sweeps in Walkoff Walk dot com history. Here are their stories:

Diamondbacks sweep Rockies, 3-0: On their first regular season trip back to Denver since celebrating a division championship by staining the visitors' clubhouse rug with milk, Arizona got revenge for the 2008 NLCS by sweeping Colorado. D-Backs starters Micah Owings, Brandon Webb and Edgar Gonzalez held the Rox to just 3 runs in 18 and 2/3 innings while Snakes' third basegentleman Mark Reynolds collected two home runs and six runs batted in on the weekend. Oh, that Coors Field altitude can make a star out of anyone!

Blue Jays sweep Red Sox, 3-0: Jet lag is a bitch, right Terry? Having traveled 16,000 miles in the past eighteen days across three countries and two continents and like, 34 time zones, the Red Sox are pooped. Les Jays Bleus took advantage of this and romped all over Boston pitchers, crossing the plate 23 times over the three game sweep. That's like, 22.9998 runs American. Designated pillow-fighter Frank Thomas provided the power with 12 total bases and 8 RBI.

Brewers sweep Giants, 3-0: Oft-injured pitcher Ben Sheets provided the cherry on top of the series sundae with his second career shutout on, well, Sunday. Sez Ben: "(I'm a) big-league pitcher, that's what we're supposed to do. Some days we're supposed to be good." As a past fantasy owner of Mr. Sheets, I'd like to disagree. You're a number one big-league pitcher, Benny. You're supposed to be good every day.

Cardinals sweep Nationals, 3-0: Stop the world, I want to get off. I don't think I can live on a planet where Kyle Lohse has pitched twelve consecutive scoreless innings. Braden Looper and ace Adam Wainwright were your other successful starters while former starter Rick Ankiel is loving life back in the two-hole. I'd probably go 4-for-12 with two homers hitting in front of Albert Pujols, too. The Nationals have now lost four games in a row; something tells me they won't be seeing first place again for a long, long time. THESE ARE BASICALLY THE EXPOS, PEOPLE. Sure, they have a shiny new stadium, but you can't put lipstick on a pig. Unless the pig is named Kelly Clarkson. Rawr!

Braves sweep Mets, 2-0: T'would have been a three game series had Willard Scott not let Mother Nature rain out the game Friday night. Bitch! Still, the Braves rocked John Maine on Saturday and won a John Smoltz-Johan Santana pitchers' duel on Sunday to round out their record to an NL East leading 3-3. Mark Teixeira had a coupla web gems on Sunday including a game-ending diving stop that sealed Rafael Soriano's first save as a Brave.

Yes, the Orioles swept Seattle 3-0 this weekend but the series ain't over until the fourth game concludes this afternoon. Tell you what: if we come back and the Mariners are slaughtered, I owe Peter Angelos a Coke.

UPDATE: Oh yeah the Chisox swept the Tigers but that doesn't count because beating triple-A teams is no big accomplishment.

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Picking nits here, but Soriano had several saves for the Braves last year.

How many other mistakes can you spot, Matt? Thanks.

I wasn't being sarcastic by the way.

It's been a long morning.

I see one.

Blue Jays sweep Red Sox, 3-0.

That's just fucking retarded.

Aww, did the poor wittle Boston team get swept? Don't worry, when Schilling returns he'll put the team on his sock and carry them to the playoffs

I was at Friday's game, it had been a while since I heard noise like that in the Dome. Methinks Terry Francona was channeling the spirit of Carlos Tosca with all his pitching changes that night. And the laughers on Saturday and Sunday made for good times all around

it's cool, sox fans. until we start winning we can just keep on blaming the japan trip for all our woes.

The pretty blue unis are gonna look great crumpled up in a pile on the sidewalk come October, be-atch. BURN!

And I'm very glad to get out of Toronto. They absolutely bitched the Sox.

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