What's Eating C.C. Sabathia? What's C.C. Sabathia Eating?

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Hey, remember a long long time ago when Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia won the AL Cy Young Award? Oh, that was just last year. So what the heck is wrong with him now? In four starts in 2008, he's pitched 18 innings and allowed 32 hits, 14 walks and 24 runs. His 13.50 ERA is as chunky as he is. Haha fat joke! Zing! Sabathia is in his so-called 'contract' year, so each time he goes out and takes a dump on the mound he's leaving about $4 million in future earnings on the table. Says C.C.:

    "My arm feels fine. I just can't command either side of the plate."

I don't buy it. Here are some contributing factors that might be causing's Sabathia's slump:

  • He was overworked in 2007, throwing a career-high 256 innings.
  • Complications from having his last name tattooed on his back, uniform-style, in 2000
  • Too many burgers during spring training
  • Finally suffering from the shame of being named Carsten

Seriously though, I hope this contract can be voided.


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9 Comments

"I just can't command either side of the plate."

Pretty sure the staff at the Double Dragon Buffet in Cleveland would counter that CC seems to have VERY good control of his plates.

Yeah, I Google'd "buffets in Cleveland." I already feel fatter.

I'm more surprised there are restaurants in Cleveland that are not buffets.

Double Dragon Buffet >>> Mortal Kombat Diner

Fat jokes are for hacks. You're better than this, Iracane.

-1.

Clare, I specifically said "Zing" which automatically renders my joke ironic. IRONIC!

burger jokes > fat jokes?

Double Dragon buffet?

Do they punch you in the stomach and steal your girlfriends when you enter?

No Matt, you're thinking of Dmitri & Delmon Buffet in DC.

before i turned off the game in disgust, some incredible things happened during sportstime ohio's broadcast. one of them was bob feller talking in the booth for eight straight minutes without taking a breath... by the way, he doesn't buy into pitchers' arms getting tired because he threw over 350 innings one season and spent 4 years in the war and his arm was fine. and his mom, dad, and sister were in the stands when it was 40 degrees with a light breeze off of Lake Michigan during his opening day no-hitter. get off his lawn.

the other thing that happened was a 5-second shot of 4 co-eds (along the lines of NO, yes, yes, maybe) with a sign that said "Grady... 3some?" Matt Underwood and Rick Manning didn't say a damn thing for 30 seconds.

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