When I Consider How My Light Is Spent: Today's Afternoon Game

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  • 3:45, Diamondbacks at Giants: Brandon Webb and Barry Zito's respective career arches intersect today in the rubber match of this 3 game series. Webb has built on his success every year since his rookie season. Zito is, well... if you want to read about how lousy he is, go to every other baseball website in existence. Or just start here, with the Associated Press. His suckitude is magnified by his enormous contract, which to me is entirely fair. Luckily for the Giants they've discovered the new Barry Bonds in John Bowker. Bowker has played 3 games, homered in two of them and driven in 7.

    And for all you folks at home, Rob gon' glog it. Cause it's the only game on.

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Arches? Like the Golden Arches?

Uh.. yes! That's what my typ.... joke was!

I wouldn't watch this game with Helen Keller's eyes.
(HK jokes are still funny, right?)

Just don't make them where she can hear you.

$126 Million will buy a lot of double cheeseburgers and McGriddles.

Golden Arches?

"They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds."

-Mr. McDowell

You may remember him from the "What's Going Down" episode of "That's My Mama." Ladies and gentlemen... Mr. Randy Watson!

You know, our new home weave products are really taking off.

I love that movie like Zito loves shitty charities. "Strike-outs for Troops?" That would be a great idea for pretty much any other pitcher in MLB. Contributions from Zito to date? $400 and an autographed picture of him singing a Dave Mathews song at La Barca.

The burger jokes are back!!!

Wouldn't "Earned Runs for Troops" work much better? Right now he's just helping the terrorists.

You don't go to war with the starting pitcher you want, you go with the one you have.

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