A Sort Of A Song: Today's Afternoon Game

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  • 2:20, Pirates at Cubs: Intraleague is so passe. But if you insist this afternoon you can watch Pittsburgh's Tom Gorzelanny take on Chicago's Sean Gallagher. These two squads are the only ones playing baseball as god intended and not following the Sodomite lead of every other cross breeding team in MLB. Chicago has swept all 6 games of the season series thus far.

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"I never thought you'd be Gorzelanny because intraleague is so passe."

That picture right there is the reason the NL Central exists. I knew there had to be SOME reason.


I can Dig! that.

How fun. The A's are facing the son of a lotion magnate.

Fonzy with another lead-off ding-dong.


RBI ground out by Ramirez & another ding-dong by Soto and it's 3-0 after one.

This is like my own little commenter live-glog that only me and Mrs. Gorzelanny cares about.

It IS commenter participation Friday (or something) isn't it?

I'm enjoying it!

I don't think Mrs. Gorzelanny cares. She's busy schtupping the pool boy.

Ron Santo must've been a little confused about today's Cubs pitcher. For some reason he's got plastic draped over him in the booth.

SEAN Gallagher is bound to make a mess tho - he's already walked one, hit a batter, and gave up a infield single. Several Bucs have hit him hard, but no runs (or busted watermelons) yet.

/went way to far to make a Gallagher joke.

Hey Rob, who's the best hitting outfield in the majors?

Well, CTC, it would have to be the Pittsburgh Pirates. I learnt that they have three guys (McLouth, Nady, and Bay) in the top 40 hitters ranked by VORP. No other team has three guys in the top 100! Thanks, Baseball Prospectus!

Too bad the Cubs don't have a competent center fielder or else Soriano and Fukudome and Random Competent Center Fielder would make a great outfield.

Soriano three run tater dong!

3 Run King Dong for Fonzy as a confused but nattily attired Don Zimmer looks on from the bleachers!

GAWD I wish I was at Wrigley right now.

I can only hope to one day be called "confused but nattily attired." That is my new goal for old age. Besides, you know, making it to old age.

Soriano is espaƱol for tater totto.

My goal for old age is to sleep with Natalie Imbrugrio. (or whatever the hell her name is.)

Okay, not really, but it was either her or Natalie from Facts Of Life.

I shoulda went with Natalie Merchant.

No noise outa the Bucs in the top of the 3rd. Still 6-0 Cubs.

For some reason, when there's a runner on 2nd, the Pirates catcher goes thru signs like a 3rd base coach instead of putting down numbers. Perhaps Gorzelanny has poor eyesight. Or maybe it's to confuse the nattily attired Don Zimmer even more.

I feel like this would be a good time to mention that I've been drinking.

6-0 Cubs after 3.

Gorzelanny finally settles down and strikes out the side in the 4th. Hope nobody tells him about his mother schtupping the pool boy.

Especially since his pool boy is Xavier Nady.

Ryan Theriot continues to baffle FJM and hits a double in the gap to lead off the bottom of the 5th. This guy's hitting .333/401/.828 along w/ being the newest "gritty gutty" guy as designated by old newspaper sports writers.


Mark DeRosa goes oppo in the bottom of the 6th, and some maniac in the bleachers goes BEZERKA after catching it.

Now Carlos Zambrano is pinch hitting. Make that pinch SWINGING. Big Z does not get cheated at the plate.

Lance Briggs is gonna sing the 7th inning stretch. I won't be able to tell you how it goes because I turn the channel every time someone other than Santo is singing it. I hate that they've turned Harry's old gig into Jay Leno's couch.

(I think I've reached the sentimental stage of drunkenness.)

I used to work with a guy named Jim Briggs. I would always say, "Hey Jim, where's Stratton?"

And then we would laugh for what seemed like hours.

Bobby Howry dispatches the Pirates in the 7th. 7-1 Cubs.

The worst part of the 7th inning stretch when you're at the game is that you worry that the WGN camera's will show you with your arm around some chick in the bleachers and your girlfriend will see it.

I blame Ferris Buehler for that worry.

Soriano strikes out to lead off the 7th. He has two bombs, and two K's... giving me an excuse to misspell microcosm.

In the 8th, Howry gives up a solo to Bay, a walk to Nady, and a three run dinger to Gorzelanny's pool boy.

Howry struggled the 1st half of last year before turning pretty nasty after the all-star break... here's hoping he turns it on a bit earlier this year or Carlos Marmol will picth 1 gazillion innings.

7-4 after 7 1/2. We may get to see Kerry Wood in the 9th. Woohoo!

I'm drinking my last beer, and it shows. The walk was to Gorzelanny's pool boy, and and the TWO run jack was to Mint-Kay-Vich. Either way, it's 7-4, and Wood is in to close it out. He's been filthy all year...except for when he hits a batter, which happens fairly often.

We still have a man-crush on him tho.

Apparently mid-afternoon drunken uninvited live-glogging leads one to think he's Will Leitch. "I" still have a man crush on Wood.

With good reason, he mows them down in the 9th. Cubs win. 7th out of the last 8. Even the arrival of Lassie cannot ruin the good mojo in the friendliest of confines.

"hey Chicago whaddaya say..."

/realizes he just jinxed Cubs to 10 game losing streak
/pees on couch
/passes out on lapto...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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