Albert Pujols Will Put You in the Hospital. You Too Smartass!

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Could things get any more depressing for the San Diego Padres and their fans? Not only do they have the worst record in baseball, and not only have they just put ace starter Jake Peavy on the disabled list, and not only did a construction accident near Petco Park hurt 12 people, and not only is Paul DePodesta's blog the most interesting thing about the entire organization, but now they have to deal with Albert Pujols' one-man wrecking crew taking out everyone in his path. To wit, via Awful Announcing:

SAN DIEGO (AP) -- San Diego Padres pitcher Chris Young and catcher Josh Bard were knocked out of Wednesday night's game against the St. Louis Cardinals by Albert Pujols within a span of two batters.

Pujols hit a line drive off his Young's face in the third inning, breaking the right-hander's nose. Young immediately fell on his backside and put his right hand up to his face. Blood was running down his face.

After a few minutes of sitting on the grass, Young walked off holding a bandage on his face with blood on the front of his jersey.

Pujols' shot ricocheted to the left side of the infield for a single and loaded the bases with one out. After Ryan Ludwick's grounder knocked in one run and advanced the runners, Troy Glaus lined a single to right field.

Aaron Miles and Pujols scored on the play. But right fielder Brian Giles' throw arrived at the plate at the same time as Pujols, who slid and caught Bard's left leg.

Here's the video, via FanIQ:

Well things couldn't possibly get worse for San Diego. At least the general manager isn't throwing the entire team (THAT HE ASSEMBLED) under the bus. Oh...

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So about a week ago I traded Chris Young in my fantasy league for about $.75 on the dollar. I may have harbored a subconscious thought about him having a lousy rest of 2008, but i didn't mean this! I swear to God!

Young immediately fell on his backside and put his right hand up to his face. Blood was running down his face.


Watching as the frilly Pujols run?

So begins the CTC reign of terror, ending only when he rips Canseco's still-beating heart from his chest and eats it.

Dig your claws into my organs! Stretch into my tendons! Bury your angers into my bones! For the power of the Warrior will always prevail.

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