Banditos Is More Than A Refreshments Song

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3amigos.jpgHere's some weird news that slipped below my radar this weekend. The White Sox canned three members of their Latin American scouting crew, including Senior Director David Wilder. It gets juicier. Apparently whatever their transgressions were, they're serious enough to involve the feds:

Full-time scout Victor Mateo and part-time scout Domingo Toribio were (also) dismissed for actions in Latin America that were violations of club policy and standards. The terminations resulted from findings of a two-month investigation conducted by MLB's Department of Investigations. The investigation has now been turned over to Federal authorities.

Hey Sox fans, can you hear those sirens? Well that's because you're on the South Side of Chicago, the FBI doesn't use sirens.

What could these guys have possibly done? Did they misinterpret the phrase "young talent?" Let's see, it was in Latin America and the government is now involved... I got it! Wilder and his crew were trying to organize fair labor policy for workers in Latin America and the US got wind of it and is now trying to crush the popular uprising.

Your guess is as good as mine.

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Discovered new source of energy to power automobiles that involved grinding up sugarcane and Haitian children.

@Iracane - replace "sugarcane" with "cocaine" and you just described my weekend.

Clearly some kind of wacky banana-smuggling scheme.

(haha get it because like, bananas are kind of phallic)

The must have trimmed the hedges of many small villages.

They were illegally exporting "Dr. Livan's Youth and Golf Serum."

/Callback, hi-yooo!

They must've forgotten to put sugar in the tank of the sherrif's car and slash the deputy's tires so they won't get very far.

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