Baseball Before Bedtime: 1952 Vincent Black Lightning

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Here's what happened in baseball while giving you my Vincent to ride:

Astros 8, Brewers 6 (12): Hunter Pence hit the walkoff tater tot in extra innings and while he was circling the bases, his teammates brought out an enormous piece of plate glass for Pence to run through as he crossed home plate. What a celebration! Also, Eric Gagne blew his fifth save of the year by giving up a bases loaded game-tying walk to Lance Berkman, thus denying Ben Sheets a win. Relievin's hard, y'all!

Twins 7, Tigers 6: Jim Leyland, that asshole, promises massive sweeping Obama-like changes to the Tigers lineup tonight after suffering an inconsistent offense. Fine, tinker with the lineup all you want but your bullpen just blew a 6-0 lead to the Twins, capped by a two-run single by superstar catcher Joe Mauer. The real loser of the game was Tiger infielder extraordinaire Carlos Guillen who, with the Tigers up 6-3, let a two-out groundball roll between his sticky wickets. The Twins went on to score four more runs, sweep the series, and go out for malteds to celebrate.

Mets 5, Diamondbacks 2: It is my duty to alert you to all occurrences of massively egregious game-losing errors along with (most) occurrences of massively fantastic game-winning tater tots. In this case, the error may have been egregious but I am not so ready to lay all the blame on first baseman Conor Jackson, whose throwing error led to three Mets runs in the ninth inning. See, Conor fielded a ground ball with two on and no outs, and threw it towards the general direction of second base...but it sailed over everyone's heads into left field. Oopsie! Neither starter in this acclaimed matchup figured in the decision.

Athletics 3, Rangers 1: All in favor of the A's wearing their 1968 retro jerseys permanently for the remainder of the season, say "aye". The ayes totally have it! I'm feeling so Uni Watch right now, I think I might have squealed. Anyway, Jack Cust continues his reinvigoration by hitting the game winning ding dong. A's starter Greg Smith was super effective over his six innings but did not get the win. I am going to make an effort to mention Greg Smith every time he pitches because I want you to know him.

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I can't believe it took Cust a full month to figure out there was a cure for polio.

"Six? Pence: Not enough!"

Man i am AWESOME on Monday mornings.

None the richer, Sh!tshow. None the richer.

If I had any Photoshop skillz at all, here's where I'd link to a Shepard Fairey woodcut of Jim Leyland with "CHANGE" underneath him.

Sight gags are hard when you can't, y'know, see them.


That would be so fucking awesome.

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