Baseball Before Bedtime: Cleaning Windows

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Here's what happened in baseball as we carried our ladders down the street:

White Sox 7, Twins 1: Gavin Floyd, who was once a Philiie, camethisclose to pitching a no-hitter, going 8 and 1/3 innings before giving up a double to Minnesota catcher Joe Mauer. Floyd, the former Phillie, took a no-hitter into the eighth against Detroit last month, so expect the guy who was traded from Philadelphia to finally get his no-hitter sometime in June. Jermaine Dye hit a tater tot to support his teammate Floyd, who, if you hadn't already figured out, was formerly employed by the Philadelphia Phillies baseball club.

Marlins 3, Brewers 0: Scott Olsen, who was never a Phillie, camethisclose to a complete game, going 8 and 2/3 innings before loading the bases in ninth, prompting Florida manager Fredi Gonzalez to summon closer Kevin Gregg for the save. Kevin Gregg delivered, inducing Bill Hall to fly out. Olsen allowed just a double to Ryan Braun and a single to Prince Fielder but got in trouble in the ninth by walking two Brewers. Mike Jacobs provided the offense with a two-run ding dong in the third off loser Jeff Suppan.

Indians 5, Yankees 3: I attended this game and it gave me the red ass. David Dellucci, of all people, hit the game winning three-run ding dong off no-longer-superhuman Joba Chamberlain with two outs in the eighth. This was four innings after Andy Pettitte's only mistake pitch of the night that Jhonny Peralta deposited 400 feet away over the centerfield wall. Jesu Cristo! Quel dommage! Chamberlain, who will never be a Phillie, walked two gentlemen prior to the tater tot, which caused much malaise in the Stadium. Cleveland starter Fausto Carmona pitched like shit but the Yankees could never really take advantage, leaving nine men on base. Thanks for nothing, Melky! In other news, if Chief Wahoo taunts me in the comments, I will ban him from two websites.

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Joba Chamberlain is no Ozymandias.

Maybe you should have shared your sandwich with Joba.

Ack! Do I make a "Scott Olsen getting tasered" joke? Do I say something about how cute Joe Mauer is? Do I make fun of Joba for being fat? Do I make some kind of "Lord of the Flies" reference? Do I complain about the lack of Red Sox mention in the post?


Shame about that Indians win last night. Go Yankees!

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