Baseball Before Bedtime: (Nothing But) Flowers

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Here's what happened in baseball as your Pizza Hut was covered with daisies:

Reds 8, Marlins 7: This game was chock full of anachronisms: Corey Patterson reached base four times out of five, Ken Griffey made a two-run whoopsie-doodle as a high pop fly fell into and out of his glove, and the team with the worst record in the NL beat the team with the best record. Griffey's error helped the Marlins close to within one run in the eighth inning off closer Francisco Cordero, but Cordero sent Florida down 1-2-3 in the ninth for his sixth save in six chances.

Twins 7, Red Sox 3: Livan Hernandez isn't as bad as you think. He's 6-1 on the year, the Twins are 8-1 when he pitches, and he just beat the American League leading Boston Red Sox with his 35 MPH fastball. Hernandez didn't do it all by his lonesome: Marilyn Monroe's son Craig hit a two RBI double in the fifth to put the Twins ahead comfortably enough that they didn't need to bring in Joe Nathan to nearly blow another save. Red Sox starter Clay Buchholz hit his head on the dugout.

Nationals 10, Mets 4: Those wacky Washington Nationals made Nelson Figueroa look absolutely silly, as the peripatetic right-hander allowed five hits and five walks in five innings, leading to six Nats runs. Pitcher Odalis Perez was your fantasy glutton of the night, earning a win along with going 3-for-3 with 2 RBI at the plate. "HE HELPED HIS OWN CAUSE" is the worst baseball cliché ever. Reported attendance at the game was north of 45,000, but with temperatures below 50 degrees, I'd be surprised if there were more than 200 people at this game.

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You can't blame the kid there; that is a serious old-tyme rack.

Are you talking about Nelson Figueroa's tits?

Because if so, I wholeheartedly agree.

I'm glad we finally got Farthammer up before the crack of dawn to comment here.

I am in Texas at the moment, where I am told it is almost 8 am. But my computer says it's not even 6 am right now. I don't know who to believe.

And then there's the Tribe, getting nine innings of shutout pitching from our starter and an unassisted triple a loss.

And then there's the Tribe, getting nine innings of shutout pitching from our starter and an unassisted triple a loss.

One more duplicate and you've got the unassisted commenting triple play.

Cliff Lee is sexpitch robot from upper siberia.

Craig Monroe is a candle in the wind.

Zito didn't get take a loss last night. Good for him! Things are looking up for ole Barry

I drove to work today faster than Livan pitches.

This Livan love won't last. He'll break your heart, then steal your wallet.


Instead of "upper siberia," you should have gone with "inner thighberia."

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