Baseball Before Bedtime: The More You Ignore Me The Closer I Get

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Here's what happened in baseball while my head was on the bar:

Rangers 11, Royals 9: It was a battle of the aces! Brian Bannister! Kevin Millwood! Excuse my sarcasm! Bannister's high BABIP finally bit him in the tush as he spotted Texas a 7-0 lead after just two innings. Milton Bradley, Josh Hamilton, and somebody named Brandon Boggs all had ding-dongs off Bannister; Hamilton's homer came with the bases loaded which, around here, we call Una Slamma Granda. Not really. Millwood collected the win despite giving up five runs of his own and nearly blowing a 9-1 lead. Whoops! Hamilton leads the AL with 32 runs batted in.

Red Sox 2, Blue Jays 1: Team Red won the color wars for the second day in the row and for the second day in a row, the color wars were scoreless by the seventh inning stretch. Let us take a moment to salute both the starting pitchers (Matsuzaka and McGowan) but also the fine fine defensive units in Toronto and Boston. No errors were made in the contest and Vernon Wells even threw out a runner at home. HOWEVER the second time he attempted to throw out a runner at home he was a split second late and Manny Ramirez scored the winning run on a walkoff single by Jason Varitek and everyone went out for chocolate milkshakes to celebrate a hard fought game except Blue Jays manager John Gibbons because he is a total blowhard.

Nationals 3, Braves 2 (12): The Braves scored one delightful run in the top of the twelfth and were probably quite proud of themselves for going ahead 2-1 being just three outs away from actually winning a one-run game for the first time since the days when Otis Nixon did lines off the dugout bench. Lines of sunflower seeds, of course. Anywho, Atlanta relievers Manny Acosta and Buddy Carlyle hate nostalgia so they completely screwed up the bottom of the inning. Acosta gave up a walk and a single and then let Wil Nieves' ridiculous bunt attempt go through his wickets, loading the bases. Ronnie Belliard walked in the tying run, bringing Bobby Cox out of the dugout to make the pitching change. Carlyle must have had a dinner date at Central Michel Richard so he gave up the winning hit to Felipe Lopez, and ran immediately into a waiting limo.

Giants 3, Rockies 2: Aaron Rowand and Jose Castillo provided the offense with their ding-dongs, Fred Lewis provided the defense with his fantastic diving catch, and manager Bruce Bochy provided the Mille-feuilles and Sauternes for the post-game le dessert as the Giants won their 13th game out of 29 April contests. Hey, they're in third place! Closer Brian Wilson notched his ninth save and became the first Giants pitcher to have that many April saves since Robb Nen did it in 1999. Look how happy he is! Aww, good for you, Brian. Lewis' great catch was off a sinking line drive by Willy Tavares in the 8th; he ended the inning and prevented Scott Podsednik from scoring.

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This is the most European BBB ever. I'm gonna go have a cigarette and not shower. Wait a second, I do that anyway.



I'm tying a noose as I type. (I'm typing with my feet)

Bobby thought it was a good idea to leave in his 'closer' for 3 innings, even letting him bat for himself in the top of the 12th with a man on. This is after Acosta had the bases loaded in the 8th and got out of it with a double play.

I hate baseball.

why no talk about the incredible game (again) that Cliff Lee had last night? according to elias, his opponents have a .163 OBP against him, which is the lowest OBP against a pitcher in his first 5 starts since 1909! Cliff Lee!


/furiously begins typing

How the hell did the Cubs drop 19 and not get a mention?

No, seriously - how DID they score 19? GTA4 has kidnapped my tv.

That was an abortion of a game. No, seriously, I saw Ned Yost running around with coat hangers during the post-game wrap-up.

I heard one of the new missions in GTAIV is trying to get a save with Eric Gagne.

That's it, that's the whole mission.

Good to see Brian Wilson got out of bed and became a good closer.

[considers Bacon Pants' ding-dong]

Good post, but I liked the baby pic better. New month, new pics?

I thought the baby picture was weird shaped. Always bugged me.

The goddamned baby finally woke up and started crying its wicked little head off so we shipped him out to an orphanage.

Darren did the dirty work.

Sidney Ponson ate the baby.

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